the-denial-of-butts
Original: the-denial-of-butts on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1:
Woman (praying, looking up): Dear God why did you make humans?
Panel 2:
God: It's an experiment.
Panel 3:
God: I'd already made beings with minds - beings who could perceive infinitude and the sublime and whatnot.
Panel 4:
God: Then I got an idea - what if you take one of those and attach a BUTT to it!
Panel 5:
Woman: So that's us? Our dual nature is a cruel god's joke?
God: Nah, that was the last universe.
Panel 6:
God: In this universe, things evolve. Butts come first. I wanna see how butts behave after you attach a brain to them.
Panel 7:
Woman: Can I go back to bed please?
Votey:
A speech bubble filled with text reading: BUTTS BUTTS BUTTS BUTTS BUTTS BUTTS BUTTS BUTTS BUTTS BUTTS BUTTS BUTTS BUTTS BUTTS... (continuing on and on). Below, the woman is shown crouched/curled on the ground.
Woman (praying, looking up): Dear God why did you make humans?
Panel 2:
God: It's an experiment.
Panel 3:
God: I'd already made beings with minds - beings who could perceive infinitude and the sublime and whatnot.
Panel 4:
God: Then I got an idea - what if you take one of those and attach a BUTT to it!
Panel 5:
Woman: So that's us? Our dual nature is a cruel god's joke?
God: Nah, that was the last universe.
Panel 6:
God: In this universe, things evolve. Butts come first. I wanna see how butts behave after you attach a brain to them.
Panel 7:
Woman: Can I go back to bed please?
Votey:
A speech bubble filled with text reading: BUTTS BUTTS BUTTS BUTTS BUTTS BUTTS BUTTS BUTTS BUTTS BUTTS BUTTS BUTTS BUTTS BUTTS... (continuing on and on). Below, the woman is shown crouched/curled on the ground.
Alt text
A seven-panel SMBC comic. A woman with auburn hair, hands clasped in prayer, looks upward and asks, 'Dear God why did you make humans?' God (speaking from offscreen) replies, 'It's an experiment.' He explains he had already made beings with minds that could perceive infinitude and the sublime, then got an idea: 'what if you take one of those and attach a BUTT to it!' The woman asks, 'So that's us? Our dual nature is a cruel god's joke?' God answers, 'Nah, that was the last universe.' He continues, 'In this universe, things evolve. Butts come first. I wanna see how butts behave after you attach a brain to them.' Defeated, the woman asks, 'Can I go back to bed please?' Votey (bonus panel): An enormous speech bubble crammed full of the repeated word 'BUTTS BUTTS BUTTS BUTTS...' trailing off, with the woman shown crouched small on the ground beneath it.
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.