fossils-3
Original: fossils-3 on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1:
Voice (off-panel, yellow bubble): Hey Satan. Burying some fossils again?
Satan (red, pink bubble): Oh yeah!
Panel 2:
Voice (yellow bubble): *Yawn*
Satan (pink bubble): What?
Panel 3:
Voice (yellow bubble): You know quantum entanglement? Where you entangle two particles and when you measure a quality of one it simultaneously determines that quality in the other, no matter how distant?
Satan (pink bubble): Yeah.
Panel 4:
Voice (yellow bubble): It's not real! The universe is deterministic and local! I just set it up so whenever two measurers check an "entangled" system, they get the result you'd expect to have if they were mysteriously influencing each other!
Panel 5:
Satan (pink bubble): Dude...
Voice (yellow bubble): That's how you f--- with the humans.
Panel 6:
Voice (yellow bubble): The coincidences will stop in a few years and they are all just gonna FREAK OUT!
Panel 7 (a glowing coin/disc, like a tossed token, flies):
Voice (yellow bubble): AHAHAHAHAHA!
Satan watches, looking unimpressed.
Panel 8:
Satan sits holding a dinosaur skull, looking dejected.
Panel 9:
Satan stands and angrily hurls the dinosaur skull away.
Panel 10:
Wide empty landscape; tiny Satan figure stands alone, the skull discarded.
Votey:
Satan sits with his head down, a thought bubble above him.
Satan (thought bubble): Jeez, God is a dick.
Voice (off-panel, yellow bubble): Hey Satan. Burying some fossils again?
Satan (red, pink bubble): Oh yeah!
Panel 2:
Voice (yellow bubble): *Yawn*
Satan (pink bubble): What?
Panel 3:
Voice (yellow bubble): You know quantum entanglement? Where you entangle two particles and when you measure a quality of one it simultaneously determines that quality in the other, no matter how distant?
Satan (pink bubble): Yeah.
Panel 4:
Voice (yellow bubble): It's not real! The universe is deterministic and local! I just set it up so whenever two measurers check an "entangled" system, they get the result you'd expect to have if they were mysteriously influencing each other!
Panel 5:
Satan (pink bubble): Dude...
Voice (yellow bubble): That's how you f--- with the humans.
Panel 6:
Voice (yellow bubble): The coincidences will stop in a few years and they are all just gonna FREAK OUT!
Panel 7 (a glowing coin/disc, like a tossed token, flies):
Voice (yellow bubble): AHAHAHAHAHA!
Satan watches, looking unimpressed.
Panel 8:
Satan sits holding a dinosaur skull, looking dejected.
Panel 9:
Satan stands and angrily hurls the dinosaur skull away.
Panel 10:
Wide empty landscape; tiny Satan figure stands alone, the skull discarded.
Votey:
Satan sits with his head down, a thought bubble above him.
Satan (thought bubble): Jeez, God is a dick.
Alt text
Main comic: A glowing yellow being (God, appearing as a luminous coin-like disc in the sky) talks down to Satan, a red devil with horns and bat wings who is burying dinosaur fossils. God yawns and explains that quantum entanglement isn't real — the universe is actually deterministic and local, and God rigged it so that whenever two people measure an "entangled" system they get results that look like spooky action at a distance. God gloats: "That's how you f--- with the humans. The coincidences will stop in a few years and they are all just gonna FREAK OUT!" then flies off laughing "AHAHAHAHAHA!" Satan, unimpressed, sits holding a dinosaur skull, then stands and angrily throws the skull away. The final wide panel shows tiny Satan alone in an empty landscape. Votey: Satan sits with his head bowed, thinking glumly, "Jeez, God is a dick."
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.