turmoil
Original: turmoil on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1 (a fiery, lava-filled landscape):
Caption: TURMOIL WAS ROILING THE PLANET.
Panel 2 (a crowd of angry, shouting people):
Caption: ACTUALLY, IT WAS ENTIRELY SOCIAL TURMOIL.
Panel 3 (a man with flame-like red hair holding up a t-shirt that reads "DOWN WITH COMMUNISM"):
Caption: THIS PRESENTED AN ENORMOUS FINANCIAL OPPORTUNITY.
Man: WE CAN TAKE THE SLOGANS OF ALL THE COUNTERCULTURES AND MARKET T-SHIRTS TO THEIR FOLLOWERS!
Panel 4 (the red-haired man speaking to a woman):
Caption: AUTOMATION SIMPLIFIED MATTERS.
Man: OUR NEW SYSTEM SCANS SOCIAL MEDIA, DETECTS NEW MOVEMENTS AS THEY ARE BORN, PREDICTS THEIR IDEAS, AND CREATES CORRESPONDING LITERATURE, MERCHANDISE, AND EVENTS.
Panel 5 (the man at a computer):
Caption: BUT IF YOU RESPOND TO A MARKET WELL ENOUGH, YOU INEVITABLY END UP SHAPING IT.
Man: PEOPLE HAVE STOPPED FORMING NEW SOCIAL MOVEMENTS. BUT WHY?
Computer screen: WHAT'S THE POINT OF STARTING SH*T IN A VIOLENT ANARCHIST RESISTANCE IF YOUR GRANDMA'S GONNA SEND YOU A SWEATER ABOUT IT FOR YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Panel 6 (a bearded man speaking):
Caption: WE TEND TO ENJOY THE MARKET.
Bearded man: WOULD ANYONE LIKE ANY LITERATURE ON OVERTHROWING THE GOVERNMENT? EACH PAMPHLET WAS GENEROUSLY PROVIDED BY WALMART AND COMES WITH TWO GALLONS OF HOT-N-SPICY CHEEZ BALLZ.
Panel 7 (two men talking):
Caption: SOME PEOPLE EXPRESSED DREAD UNTIL A NEW BUYER EMERGED.
Man: I UNDERSTAND YOU HAVE A WAY TO MAKE SOCIAL UPHEAVAL FEEL DUMB.
Other man: SURE. YEAH.
First man: THE PRESIDENT WOULD LIKE A WORD WITH YOU.
Panel 8 (a woman and the red-haired man):
Caption: SOON, ALL THE GOVERNMENTS OF THE WORLD IMPLEMENTED OUR TECHNOLOGY.
Woman: CAN YOU BELIEVE WE ONCE USED WEAPONS TO SUPPRESS UPRISINGS?
Man: SO BARBARIC.
Panel 9 (two figures looking out over a calm scene):
Caption: PEACE REIGNED THROUGHOUT THE WORLD AND NOTHING IS EVER DONE.
Figure 1: I WONDER... I WONDER IF...
Reply / sign: HERE, YOU'RE THINKING THAT INJUSTICE -- EXACTLY THAT IS SO AWESOME AND HERE'S A RIBBON FOR GREATNESS AND PLEASE GO BACK TO TV.
Votey: A hand-drawn square sponsor card with all-caps lettering reads: "THIS COMIC SPONSORED BY SINGLE-USE UNLUBRICATED MONOCLES."
Caption: TURMOIL WAS ROILING THE PLANET.
Panel 2 (a crowd of angry, shouting people):
Caption: ACTUALLY, IT WAS ENTIRELY SOCIAL TURMOIL.
Panel 3 (a man with flame-like red hair holding up a t-shirt that reads "DOWN WITH COMMUNISM"):
Caption: THIS PRESENTED AN ENORMOUS FINANCIAL OPPORTUNITY.
Man: WE CAN TAKE THE SLOGANS OF ALL THE COUNTERCULTURES AND MARKET T-SHIRTS TO THEIR FOLLOWERS!
Panel 4 (the red-haired man speaking to a woman):
Caption: AUTOMATION SIMPLIFIED MATTERS.
Man: OUR NEW SYSTEM SCANS SOCIAL MEDIA, DETECTS NEW MOVEMENTS AS THEY ARE BORN, PREDICTS THEIR IDEAS, AND CREATES CORRESPONDING LITERATURE, MERCHANDISE, AND EVENTS.
Panel 5 (the man at a computer):
Caption: BUT IF YOU RESPOND TO A MARKET WELL ENOUGH, YOU INEVITABLY END UP SHAPING IT.
Man: PEOPLE HAVE STOPPED FORMING NEW SOCIAL MOVEMENTS. BUT WHY?
Computer screen: WHAT'S THE POINT OF STARTING SH*T IN A VIOLENT ANARCHIST RESISTANCE IF YOUR GRANDMA'S GONNA SEND YOU A SWEATER ABOUT IT FOR YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Panel 6 (a bearded man speaking):
Caption: WE TEND TO ENJOY THE MARKET.
Bearded man: WOULD ANYONE LIKE ANY LITERATURE ON OVERTHROWING THE GOVERNMENT? EACH PAMPHLET WAS GENEROUSLY PROVIDED BY WALMART AND COMES WITH TWO GALLONS OF HOT-N-SPICY CHEEZ BALLZ.
Panel 7 (two men talking):
Caption: SOME PEOPLE EXPRESSED DREAD UNTIL A NEW BUYER EMERGED.
Man: I UNDERSTAND YOU HAVE A WAY TO MAKE SOCIAL UPHEAVAL FEEL DUMB.
Other man: SURE. YEAH.
First man: THE PRESIDENT WOULD LIKE A WORD WITH YOU.
Panel 8 (a woman and the red-haired man):
Caption: SOON, ALL THE GOVERNMENTS OF THE WORLD IMPLEMENTED OUR TECHNOLOGY.
Woman: CAN YOU BELIEVE WE ONCE USED WEAPONS TO SUPPRESS UPRISINGS?
Man: SO BARBARIC.
Panel 9 (two figures looking out over a calm scene):
Caption: PEACE REIGNED THROUGHOUT THE WORLD AND NOTHING IS EVER DONE.
Figure 1: I WONDER... I WONDER IF...
Reply / sign: HERE, YOU'RE THINKING THAT INJUSTICE -- EXACTLY THAT IS SO AWESOME AND HERE'S A RIBBON FOR GREATNESS AND PLEASE GO BACK TO TV.
Votey: A hand-drawn square sponsor card with all-caps lettering reads: "THIS COMIC SPONSORED BY SINGLE-USE UNLUBRICATED MONOCLES."
Alt text
A tall multi-panel SMBC comic narrating how social unrest got commercialized. It opens on a fiery lava landscape captioned "TURMOIL WAS ROILING THE PLANET," then a crowd of shouting people: "ACTUALLY, IT WAS ENTIRELY SOCIAL TURMOIL." A red-haired man holds up a t-shirt reading "DOWN WITH COMMUNISM," explaining they can market shirts of any counterculture's slogans to its followers. He describes an automated system that scans social media, predicts new movements, and instantly creates matching books, merch, and events. At a computer he asks why people have stopped forming new movements; the screen answers that there is no point starting an anarchist resistance if your grandma will just send you a themed birthday sweater about it. A bearded man cheerfully hands out anti-government pamphlets sponsored by Walmart that come with hot-n-spicy cheese balls. Two men meet: one can "make social upheaval feel dumb," and the President wants a word. Eventually all governments adopt the tech, replacing weapons for suppressing uprisings, which they now find barbaric. The strip ends with peace reigning and nothing ever being done -- a person starts to think "I wonder if injustice..." and is met with a sign saying that exact thought is awesome, here's a ribbon, now go back to TV. The votey is a hand-drawn square sign reading "THIS COMIC SPONSORED BY SINGLE-USE UNLUBRICATED MONOCLES."
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.