human-nature
Original: human-nature on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Title panel: KNOW YOUR SCHOOLS OF THOUGHT ON HUMAN NATURE
Panel 1 (header banner): OPTIMISM: PEOPLE ARE BASICALLY GOOD
Woman with curly gray-brown hair: "I want to help as much as I can!"
Panel 2 (header banner): PESSIMISM: PEOPLE ARE BASICALLY BAD
A wild-eyed bearded man: "I want to kill as much as I can, but civilization restrains me!"
Panel 3 (header banner): REALISM: PEOPLE ARE BASICALLY GOOD, BUT REALLY BAD AT FIGURING OUT WHAT IS GOOD
A cheerful blonde woman, gesturing: "I want to help as much as I can, so I'm gonna kill the exact right people!"
Votey:
Close-up of the same blonde woman, smiling: "If everyone's dead no one is being bad."
Panel 1 (header banner): OPTIMISM: PEOPLE ARE BASICALLY GOOD
Woman with curly gray-brown hair: "I want to help as much as I can!"
Panel 2 (header banner): PESSIMISM: PEOPLE ARE BASICALLY BAD
A wild-eyed bearded man: "I want to kill as much as I can, but civilization restrains me!"
Panel 3 (header banner): REALISM: PEOPLE ARE BASICALLY GOOD, BUT REALLY BAD AT FIGURING OUT WHAT IS GOOD
A cheerful blonde woman, gesturing: "I want to help as much as I can, so I'm gonna kill the exact right people!"
Votey:
Close-up of the same blonde woman, smiling: "If everyone's dead no one is being bad."
Alt text
A Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal comic titled "KNOW YOUR SCHOOLS OF THOUGHT ON HUMAN NATURE," laid out as labeled portraits. First, a red banner reads "OPTIMISM: PEOPLE ARE BASICALLY GOOD" above a smiling curly-haired woman saying "I want to help as much as I can!" Next, a banner reads "PESSIMISM: PEOPLE ARE BASICALLY BAD" above a wild-eyed, snarling bearded man saying "I want to kill as much as I can, but civilization restrains me!" Finally, a banner reads "REALISM: PEOPLE ARE BASICALLY GOOD, BUT REALLY BAD AT FIGURING OUT WHAT IS GOOD" above a cheerful, gesturing blonde woman who says "I want to help as much as I can, so I'm gonna kill the exact right people!" The joke: the well-meaning 'realist' arrives at the same murderous conclusion as the pessimist, just routed through good intentions. Votey (bonus panel): an extreme close-up of the same beaming blonde woman delivering the punchline, "If everyone's dead no one is being bad."
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.