academics
Original: academics on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Title: HOW INTERVIEWS WITH ACADEMICS GO: SORTED BY CAREER STAGE
Panel 1 (labeled GRAD STUDENT):
Interviewer: Tell me about Saturn.
Grad student (a woman): Oh wow, well it's a planet and honestly instead of an interview could I take a few months and then provide a prepared statement?
Panel 2 (labeled POST DOC):
Interviewer: Tell me about Saturn.
Post doc (a wide-eyed person): Sorry, I'm only qualified to talk about a specific class of chlorates that, it turns out, probably don't exist on Saturn.
Panel 3 (labeled TENURE TRACK PROFESSOR):
Interviewer: Tell me about Saturn.
Tenure track professor: Does this go on my CV? Because, if not, then this is 'me time' and I really need to spend it drinking and crying.
Panel 4 (labeled TENURED PROFESSOR):
Interviewer: Tell me about Saturn.
Tenured professor (an older person with glasses): Sure, but FIRST I got some thoughts on modern politics. How many hours do you have again?
Votey:
Label: Undergrad
Undergrad (speaking confidently): I know everything about Saturn.
A listener (in a small caption): I know everything about Saturn.
The undergrad is depicted with a smug, eyes-closed expression.
Panel 1 (labeled GRAD STUDENT):
Interviewer: Tell me about Saturn.
Grad student (a woman): Oh wow, well it's a planet and honestly instead of an interview could I take a few months and then provide a prepared statement?
Panel 2 (labeled POST DOC):
Interviewer: Tell me about Saturn.
Post doc (a wide-eyed person): Sorry, I'm only qualified to talk about a specific class of chlorates that, it turns out, probably don't exist on Saturn.
Panel 3 (labeled TENURE TRACK PROFESSOR):
Interviewer: Tell me about Saturn.
Tenure track professor: Does this go on my CV? Because, if not, then this is 'me time' and I really need to spend it drinking and crying.
Panel 4 (labeled TENURED PROFESSOR):
Interviewer: Tell me about Saturn.
Tenured professor (an older person with glasses): Sure, but FIRST I got some thoughts on modern politics. How many hours do you have again?
Votey:
Label: Undergrad
Undergrad (speaking confidently): I know everything about Saturn.
A listener (in a small caption): I know everything about Saturn.
The undergrad is depicted with a smug, eyes-closed expression.
Alt text
A four-panel SMBC comic titled 'How interviews with academics go: sorted by career stage.' In each panel an off-panel interviewer says 'Tell me about Saturn' and a different academic responds. Panel 1, GRAD STUDENT (a nervous woman): 'Oh wow, well it's a planet and honestly instead of an interview could I take a few months and then provide a prepared statement?' Panel 2, POST DOC (wide-eyed and anxious): 'Sorry, I'm only qualified to talk about a specific class of chlorates that, it turns out, probably don't exist on Saturn.' Panel 3, TENURE TRACK PROFESSOR (frazzled): 'Does this go on my CV? Because, if not, then this is me time and I really need to spend it drinking and crying.' Panel 4, TENURED PROFESSOR (older, glasses, weary): 'Sure, but FIRST I got some thoughts on modern politics. How many hours do you have again?' Votey: labeled 'Undergrad,' a smug young person with eyes closed declares 'I know everything about Saturn,' a one-line overconfidence gag capping the escalating ladder of academic insecurity.
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.