wrestling-2
Original: wrestling-2 on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1:
Mother (sitting up in bed, embarrassed): HONEY, I WANT YOU TO KNOW THAT MOMMY AND DADDY WERE... JUST WRESTLING! JUST A LITTLE LATE NIGHT WRESTLING FOR THE FUN OF IT.
Panel 2:
Child: YOU WEREN'T HAVING SEX?
Panel 3:
Father (off-panel / partially seen): UH...
Mother: THAT IS SUCH A RELIEF!
Panel 4:
Mother: I WAS SO WORRIED YOU GUYS HAD BECOME SUPER LOSERS, BUT IT TURNS OUT YOU JUST HAVE QUIET SEX AND ALSO WRESTLE FROM TIME TO TIME.
Child: I...
Panel 5:
Child (reading from a calendar/paper): GOING BY MY CALENDAR, YOU WRESTLE ON AVERAGE ABOUT 1.3 TIMES A MONTH. IF THAT WERE THE QUANTITY OF SEX YOU WERE HAVING, IT'D BE SO DEPRESSING.
Panel 6:
Child (grinning): G'NIGHT!
Panel 7 (silent): The mother stands in the bedroom doorway, lit from the hall, looking back into the dark bedroom.
Panel 8 (silent): The mother lies down in bed beside the father.
Panel 9:
Father (lying in bed, frowning): CAN WE GROUND HER OVER THIS?
Panel 10:
Mother (lying in bed): HELL YES WE CAN.
Votey:
A hand-lettered speech bubble with loosely sketched figures behind it reads: LOCK THE DOOR AND DO ME. ("do me" emphasized in bold.)
Mother (sitting up in bed, embarrassed): HONEY, I WANT YOU TO KNOW THAT MOMMY AND DADDY WERE... JUST WRESTLING! JUST A LITTLE LATE NIGHT WRESTLING FOR THE FUN OF IT.
Panel 2:
Child: YOU WEREN'T HAVING SEX?
Panel 3:
Father (off-panel / partially seen): UH...
Mother: THAT IS SUCH A RELIEF!
Panel 4:
Mother: I WAS SO WORRIED YOU GUYS HAD BECOME SUPER LOSERS, BUT IT TURNS OUT YOU JUST HAVE QUIET SEX AND ALSO WRESTLE FROM TIME TO TIME.
Child: I...
Panel 5:
Child (reading from a calendar/paper): GOING BY MY CALENDAR, YOU WRESTLE ON AVERAGE ABOUT 1.3 TIMES A MONTH. IF THAT WERE THE QUANTITY OF SEX YOU WERE HAVING, IT'D BE SO DEPRESSING.
Panel 6:
Child (grinning): G'NIGHT!
Panel 7 (silent): The mother stands in the bedroom doorway, lit from the hall, looking back into the dark bedroom.
Panel 8 (silent): The mother lies down in bed beside the father.
Panel 9:
Father (lying in bed, frowning): CAN WE GROUND HER OVER THIS?
Panel 10:
Mother (lying in bed): HELL YES WE CAN.
Votey:
A hand-lettered speech bubble with loosely sketched figures behind it reads: LOCK THE DOOR AND DO ME. ("do me" emphasized in bold.)
Alt text
A ten-panel SMBC comic. A mother, caught in bed, sits up flustered and tells her child, "Honey, I want you to know that Mommy and Daddy were... just wrestling! Just a little late night wrestling for the fun of it." The child asks flatly, "You weren't having sex?" The father stammers "Uh..." while the mother says, "That is such a relief!" She explains, "I was so worried you guys had become SUPER LOSERS, but it turns out you just have quiet sex and also wrestle from time to time." The child, holding a calendar, reads: "Going by my calendar, you wrestle on average about 1.3 times a month. If that were the quantity of sex you were having, it'd be SO depressing." The child grins and says "G'night!" In silent panels the mother returns to bed. Lying in the dark, the father asks, "Can we ground her over this?" and the mother answers, "Hell yes we can." The joke: the kid trolls the parents by pointing out that their cover story (infrequent wrestling) would be a pathetically low sex rate. Votey: a rough hand-drawn sketch of two figures with a speech bubble reading "Lock the door and DO ME."
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.