cattle
Original: cattle on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1 (wide establishing shot): A large auditorium or assembly chamber filled with rows of seated humans, with a podium silhouetted at the front. A green alien (slender head, large black eyes) stands among them, addressing the crowd in alarm.
Green alien: "MY GOD. YOU'VE BRED HUMANS TO BE CATTLE!"
Panel 2 (left text panel, response from another speaker): "YES, BUT YOU HAVE NO CAUSE TO BE UPSET. THESE ARE NO MORE LIKE YOU THAN A DOMESTIC COW IS LIKE A WILD AUROCH. OTHERWISE, WE COULD NOT CONSUME THEM WITH PEACE OF MIND."
Panel 3 (right text panel, green alien continues to protest): "THEY ARE STILL MY KIN. THEY ARE STILL PEOPLE. SOMEWHERE IN THEIR CAPTIVE MINDS THERE IS POETRY AND TRAGEDY AND SOUL!"
Panel 4: A man in a salmon/pink shirt sits beside the green alien, looking dull and slack-faced. The other speaker urges the alien to reconsider.
Other speaker (to the alien): "LOOK AGAIN, MAN. LOOK AGAIN... AND LISTEN."
Panel 5 (the crowd of bred humans, each emitting a speech bubble): The dull-faced humans speak inane nitpicks.
A bred human: "STAR TREK MOVIES PORTRAY BLACK HOLES INACCURATELY."
Another bred human: "LIGHTSABERS DON'T MAKE SENSE."
Another bred human: "THE ECONOMY IN \"THE EXPANSE\" IS RIDICULOUS."
Panel 6 (final): The green alien, now convinced, looks down. The man in the pink shirt sits placidly nearby.
Green alien: "OKAY. THESE ARE FOOD."
Votey: A close-up of a person's face (the speaker) with a speech bubble directed toward the green alien (whose face and arm are visible at the right edge).
Speaker: "In fact, make me a steak."
Green alien: "MY GOD. YOU'VE BRED HUMANS TO BE CATTLE!"
Panel 2 (left text panel, response from another speaker): "YES, BUT YOU HAVE NO CAUSE TO BE UPSET. THESE ARE NO MORE LIKE YOU THAN A DOMESTIC COW IS LIKE A WILD AUROCH. OTHERWISE, WE COULD NOT CONSUME THEM WITH PEACE OF MIND."
Panel 3 (right text panel, green alien continues to protest): "THEY ARE STILL MY KIN. THEY ARE STILL PEOPLE. SOMEWHERE IN THEIR CAPTIVE MINDS THERE IS POETRY AND TRAGEDY AND SOUL!"
Panel 4: A man in a salmon/pink shirt sits beside the green alien, looking dull and slack-faced. The other speaker urges the alien to reconsider.
Other speaker (to the alien): "LOOK AGAIN, MAN. LOOK AGAIN... AND LISTEN."
Panel 5 (the crowd of bred humans, each emitting a speech bubble): The dull-faced humans speak inane nitpicks.
A bred human: "STAR TREK MOVIES PORTRAY BLACK HOLES INACCURATELY."
Another bred human: "LIGHTSABERS DON'T MAKE SENSE."
Another bred human: "THE ECONOMY IN \"THE EXPANSE\" IS RIDICULOUS."
Panel 6 (final): The green alien, now convinced, looks down. The man in the pink shirt sits placidly nearby.
Green alien: "OKAY. THESE ARE FOOD."
Votey: A close-up of a person's face (the speaker) with a speech bubble directed toward the green alien (whose face and arm are visible at the right edge).
Speaker: "In fact, make me a steak."
Alt text
A six-panel SMBC comic. Panel 1: a wide shot of an auditorium packed with rows of seated, blank-faced humans; a slender green alien with large black eyes stands among them and cries out, "My God. You've bred humans to be cattle!" Panel 2: a reassuring reply, "Yes, but you have no cause to be upset. These are no more like you than a domestic cow is like a wild auroch. Otherwise, we could not consume them with peace of mind." Panel 3: the alien protests, "They are still my kin. They are still people. Somewhere in their captive minds there is poetry and tragedy and soul!" Panel 4: a dull-eyed, slack-faced man in a pink shirt sits beside the alien; the other speaker says, "Look again, man. Look again... and listen." Panel 5: the crowd of bred humans each pipe up with shallow nerd nitpicks: "Star Trek movies portray black holes inaccurately," "Lightsabers don't make sense," and "The economy in 'The Expanse' is ridiculous." Panel 6: the alien, now persuaded these aren't real people, concedes flatly, "Okay. These are food." Votey (bonus panel): a close-up of the speaker's face turning to the green alien, adding, "In fact, make me a steak."
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.