candyland
Original: candyland on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1:
Man in suit (standing behind two children at a table playing Candyland): GOD, I HATE THIS GAME. IT *LOOKS* LIKE THERE'S ACTION AND SUSPENSE, BUT IT'S ALL JUST SET BY THE STARTING CONDITIONS.
Panel 2:
Bearded man: JEEZ. HE REALLY DOES NOT LIKE CANDYLAND.
Woman with glasses: HM? OH, NO. THAT'S NOT THE ISSUE.
Panel 3:
Woman with glasses: HE'S A PHILOSOPHICAL DETERMINIST.
Panel 4:
The man in the suit (now leaning over a chessboard, agitated): WHERE'S THE SKILL?! THE WHOLE THING IS FOREORDAINED!
Votey:
A close-up of a smiling face says: ANYONE WANNA PLAY "ACAUSAL GO FISH?"
Man in suit (standing behind two children at a table playing Candyland): GOD, I HATE THIS GAME. IT *LOOKS* LIKE THERE'S ACTION AND SUSPENSE, BUT IT'S ALL JUST SET BY THE STARTING CONDITIONS.
Panel 2:
Bearded man: JEEZ. HE REALLY DOES NOT LIKE CANDYLAND.
Woman with glasses: HM? OH, NO. THAT'S NOT THE ISSUE.
Panel 3:
Woman with glasses: HE'S A PHILOSOPHICAL DETERMINIST.
Panel 4:
The man in the suit (now leaning over a chessboard, agitated): WHERE'S THE SKILL?! THE WHOLE THING IS FOREORDAINED!
Votey:
A close-up of a smiling face says: ANYONE WANNA PLAY "ACAUSAL GO FISH?"
Alt text
A four-panel comic. Panel 1: A man in a suit stands behind two children playing the board game Candyland and complains, "God, I hate this game. It LOOKS like there's action and suspense, but it's all just set by the starting conditions." Panel 2: A bearded man remarks to a woman with glasses, "Jeez. He really does not like Candyland," and she replies, "Hm? Oh, no. That's not the issue." Panel 3: The woman explains, "He's a philosophical determinist." Panel 4: The suited man now leans over a chessboard, frustrated, shouting, "Where's the skill?! The whole thing is foreordained!" Votey: A close-up of a grinning face asks, "Anyone wanna play 'acausal go fish?'"
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.