being-an-adult
Original: being-an-adult on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1:
Child: What's the worst thing about being an adult?
Man (with glasses): Probably the sheer volume of lies.
Panel 2:
Man: Like, you know how you lied to me about taking out the trash?
Child: NO!
Panel 3:
Man: See, that's a good example. You lied about the trash, but you only had to lie to ME.
Panel 4:
Man: Just this week, in order to not exercise, I had to lie to two doctors, one specialist, THREE nurses, a gym owner, God, myself, and four co-workers.
Child: Jeez.
Panel 5:
Man: For me to not take out the trash, at a minimum, I would have to lie to Mom, Grandma, Grandpa, the homeowners association, and three to five neighbors.
Panel 6:
Man: The older you get, the more people you have to deal with, so the number of lies tends to grow quadratically.
Panel 7:
Man: Before you know it, you're on your deathbed, lying to all of your loved ones about what they meant to you. Then, you go to heaven where you try to pull a fast one on St. Peter.
Panel 8:
Child: Have adults considered just being honest and open with each other?
Man (grinning): Boy, that is how WARS start.
Votey:
A thought/speech bubble from the child reads: "Are you lying right now?"
The man (shown as a face) replies in a large bubble: "I don't know!"
Child: What's the worst thing about being an adult?
Man (with glasses): Probably the sheer volume of lies.
Panel 2:
Man: Like, you know how you lied to me about taking out the trash?
Child: NO!
Panel 3:
Man: See, that's a good example. You lied about the trash, but you only had to lie to ME.
Panel 4:
Man: Just this week, in order to not exercise, I had to lie to two doctors, one specialist, THREE nurses, a gym owner, God, myself, and four co-workers.
Child: Jeez.
Panel 5:
Man: For me to not take out the trash, at a minimum, I would have to lie to Mom, Grandma, Grandpa, the homeowners association, and three to five neighbors.
Panel 6:
Man: The older you get, the more people you have to deal with, so the number of lies tends to grow quadratically.
Panel 7:
Man: Before you know it, you're on your deathbed, lying to all of your loved ones about what they meant to you. Then, you go to heaven where you try to pull a fast one on St. Peter.
Panel 8:
Child: Have adults considered just being honest and open with each other?
Man (grinning): Boy, that is how WARS start.
Votey:
A thought/speech bubble from the child reads: "Are you lying right now?"
The man (shown as a face) replies in a large bubble: "I don't know!"
Alt text
An eight-panel SMBC comic. A child asks their bespectacled father, "What's the worst thing about being an adult?" He answers, "Probably the sheer volume of lies." He cites how the child lied about taking out the trash; the child shouts "NO!" The dad says that was a good example, but the child only had to lie to him. He explains that just this week, to avoid exercising, he had to lie to two doctors, one specialist, three nurses, a gym owner, God, himself, and four co-workers; the child says "Jeez." He continues that to skip taking out the trash he'd have to lie to Mom, Grandma, Grandpa, the homeowners association, and several neighbors, and that the number of lies grows quadratically as you get older. Eventually, he says, you lie on your deathbed about what loved ones meant to you, then go to heaven and try to pull a fast one on St. Peter. The child asks, "Have adults considered just being honest and open with each other?" The grinning dad replies, "Boy, that is how WARS start." In the votey aftercomic, the child's bubble asks, "Are you lying right now?" and the dad's large reply bubble reads, "I don't know!"
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.