wisdom
Original: wisdom on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1:
Young man (on phone): Hi, Validation Hotline? I've decided to stay in my job even though I dislike it. Could you recast that in the form of mystical wisdom?
Panel 2:
Older man with headset (call-center operator): If you are to reach for the stars, your feet must be firmly planted.
Panel 3:
Older man: The soul is a great whale and it must migrate to find sustenance.
Panel 4:
Young man: Oh god. Shoot. I just got an email saying I'm fired. Could you convince me that it's for the best?
Panel 5:
Young man: Wait! I just read my user agreement and realized this is costing me $200 per aphorism. Can you justify that expenditure for me before I hang up?
Panel 6:
Older man: The wise man knows you're not going to ask for a fourth one, so the third one doesn't have to be good.
Votey:
Close-up of the older man's bearded, smiling face with a speech bubble: Makin' a difference!
Young man (on phone): Hi, Validation Hotline? I've decided to stay in my job even though I dislike it. Could you recast that in the form of mystical wisdom?
Panel 2:
Older man with headset (call-center operator): If you are to reach for the stars, your feet must be firmly planted.
Panel 3:
Older man: The soul is a great whale and it must migrate to find sustenance.
Panel 4:
Young man: Oh god. Shoot. I just got an email saying I'm fired. Could you convince me that it's for the best?
Panel 5:
Young man: Wait! I just read my user agreement and realized this is costing me $200 per aphorism. Can you justify that expenditure for me before I hang up?
Panel 6:
Older man: The wise man knows you're not going to ask for a fourth one, so the third one doesn't have to be good.
Votey:
Close-up of the older man's bearded, smiling face with a speech bubble: Makin' a difference!
Alt text
A six-panel SMBC comic. A young man with brown hair phones a "Validation Hotline" and asks them to recast his decision to stay in a job he dislikes as mystical wisdom. A bald, bearded operator wearing a headset replies with grandiose aphorisms: "If you are to reach for the stars, your feet must be firmly planted," and "The soul is a great whale and it must migrate to find sustenance." The young man interrupts: he's just gotten an email saying he's fired, and asks to be convinced it's for the best. Then he realizes the user agreement charges him $200 per aphorism and demands the operator justify the cost before he hangs up. The operator answers: "The wise man knows you're not going to ask for a fourth one, so the third one doesn't have to be good." Votey: a close-up of the operator's smiling bearded face with a speech bubble reading "Makin' a difference!"
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.