the-bones-speak
Original: the-bones-speak on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1:
Man (orange-haired): What did the mystic bones say?
Woman (in a fortune-teller's pointed hat and robe): Terrible news. Terrible.
Panel 2:
Woman: I rolled the bones, and they said you would get a good diagnosis from the doctor.
Panel 3:
Man: That's not terrible news!
Panel 4:
Woman: I went to write you, but then it occurred to me that, hey, I've got like a sample size of one here, and it's not double blind.
Panel 5:
Woman: So, I've got 99 other people and rolled bones for them. Long story short, it turns out my predictions aren't any better than guesses.
Panel 6:
Woman: In fact, given that they might confidently mislead you, they're probably worse.
Panel 7:
Man: So...
Panel 8:
Woman: I'm doing some clinical trials now to see if it helps to look at pig entrails or monitor the motions of a poisoned chicken, but... I'm not super hopeful.
Panel 9:
Man: I feel so adrift.
Panel 10:
Woman: Isn't it amazing nobody else has noticed this?!
Votey:
Woman (close-up): Still makes more sense than homeopathy.
Man (orange-haired): What did the mystic bones say?
Woman (in a fortune-teller's pointed hat and robe): Terrible news. Terrible.
Panel 2:
Woman: I rolled the bones, and they said you would get a good diagnosis from the doctor.
Panel 3:
Man: That's not terrible news!
Panel 4:
Woman: I went to write you, but then it occurred to me that, hey, I've got like a sample size of one here, and it's not double blind.
Panel 5:
Woman: So, I've got 99 other people and rolled bones for them. Long story short, it turns out my predictions aren't any better than guesses.
Panel 6:
Woman: In fact, given that they might confidently mislead you, they're probably worse.
Panel 7:
Man: So...
Panel 8:
Woman: I'm doing some clinical trials now to see if it helps to look at pig entrails or monitor the motions of a poisoned chicken, but... I'm not super hopeful.
Panel 9:
Man: I feel so adrift.
Panel 10:
Woman: Isn't it amazing nobody else has noticed this?!
Votey:
Woman (close-up): Still makes more sense than homeopathy.
Alt text
A ten-panel comic. A man with orange flame-like hair talks with a woman dressed as a mystic fortune-teller in a pointed hat and robe. He asks what the mystic bones said; she says it's terrible news. She explains the bones predicted he'd get a good diagnosis from the doctor. When he points out that's not terrible news, she reveals she realized her reading was just a sample size of one and not double-blind, so she rolled bones for 99 other people and discovered her predictions are no better than guesses, and possibly worse since they might confidently mislead. She's now running clinical trials to test pig entrails and poisoned-chicken movements, but isn't hopeful. The man says he feels adrift; she marvels that nobody else has noticed this. In the votey aftercomic, a close-up of the mystic woman adds: 'Still makes more sense than homeopathy.'
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.