you-suck
Original: you-suck on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1: A woman with reddish hair speaks to a child (a boy).
Woman: I created a computer that says "You suck, Bobby" over and over.
Panel 2: The woman continues.
Woman: The computer was sent to space on a collision course with the nearest black hole.
Panel 3: The woman continues.
Woman: When it encounters the event horizon, it will cease experiencing time relative to you and I. In its own reference frame, it will continue on.
Panel 4: The woman continues, dramatically; the boy looks horrified.
Woman: There it will remain, running its program until the end of the universe, as you and I and all of this passes away into nothingness.
Boy: GASP!
Panel 5 (labeled "EARLIER..."): Two children argue, the boy and another (blond) child.
First child (red-haired): You suck times infinity!
Blond child: NUH UH!
First child: YEAH HUH!
Votey:
A woman's face, drawn collapsing/melting in defeat, with a speech bubble from off-panel.
Off-panel speaker: Madame, I concede.
Woman: I created a computer that says "You suck, Bobby" over and over.
Panel 2: The woman continues.
Woman: The computer was sent to space on a collision course with the nearest black hole.
Panel 3: The woman continues.
Woman: When it encounters the event horizon, it will cease experiencing time relative to you and I. In its own reference frame, it will continue on.
Panel 4: The woman continues, dramatically; the boy looks horrified.
Woman: There it will remain, running its program until the end of the universe, as you and I and all of this passes away into nothingness.
Boy: GASP!
Panel 5 (labeled "EARLIER..."): Two children argue, the boy and another (blond) child.
First child (red-haired): You suck times infinity!
Blond child: NUH UH!
First child: YEAH HUH!
Votey:
A woman's face, drawn collapsing/melting in defeat, with a speech bubble from off-panel.
Off-panel speaker: Madame, I concede.
Alt text
A five-panel SMBC comic. In the first four panels, a red-haired woman calmly explains to a horrified child that she created a computer programmed to say "You suck, Bobby" over and over, then launched it on a collision course with the nearest black hole. She explains that when it crosses the event horizon it will cease experiencing time relative to them, but in its own reference frame it will keep running its program until the end of the universe, long after she and the child and everything else have passed into nothingness. The child gasps in horror. The final panel, labeled "EARLIER...," reveals the petty origin: two kids arguing, one yelling "You suck times infinity!" and the other "NUH UH!" / "YEAH HUH!" The joke is that the elaborate cosmic-physics revenge scheme grew out of a childish playground insult contest. Votey (bonus panel): a line drawing of a woman's face crumpling/melting in defeat, with a speech bubble reading "Madame, I concede."
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.