statistical-breakup
Original: statistical-breakup on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1:
Man (red-haired, in suit and tie): YOU'RE BREAKING UP WITH ME!?
Woman (with glasses): SORT OF. I WAS RANDOMLY ASSIGNED TO YOU AS PART OF A SOCIOLOGICAL EXPERIMENT. YOU'RE A PLACEBO BOYFRIEND.
Votey:
A simply-drawn shocked face.
Woman (off-panel/caption): You were chosen because of your negligible emotional impact
Man (red-haired, in suit and tie): YOU'RE BREAKING UP WITH ME!?
Woman (with glasses): SORT OF. I WAS RANDOMLY ASSIGNED TO YOU AS PART OF A SOCIOLOGICAL EXPERIMENT. YOU'RE A PLACEBO BOYFRIEND.
Votey:
A simply-drawn shocked face.
Woman (off-panel/caption): You were chosen because of your negligible emotional impact
Alt text
Main comic: A single panel. A red-haired man in a suit and tie faces a woman wearing glasses across what appears to be a restaurant table. The man, looking distressed, exclaims, "YOU'RE BREAKING UP WITH ME!?" The woman calmly replies, "SORT OF. I WAS RANDOMLY ASSIGNED TO YOU AS PART OF A SOCIOLOGICAL EXPERIMENT. YOU'RE A PLACEBO BOYFRIEND."
Votey: A crude, hand-drawn cartoon face with wide, shocked eyes and a stunned open mouth. Handwritten text beside it reads, "You were chosen because of your negligible emotional impact" — driving home the insult that even his breakup doesn't really count.
Votey: A crude, hand-drawn cartoon face with wide, shocked eyes and a stunned open mouth. Handwritten text beside it reads, "You were chosen because of your negligible emotional impact" — driving home the insult that even his breakup doesn't really count.
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.