the-dimension-store
Original: the-dimension-store on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1:
A customer stands at the counter of a shop with a sign reading "DIMENSION STORE."
Customer: HEY, I'M BUILDING A UNIVERSE AND I NEED SOME DIMENSIONS.
Panel 2:
Shopkeeper (offscreen, speaking from behind the counter): WELL, WE RECOMMEND YOU HAVE 26 DIMENSIONS FOR THE BEST OF ALL POSSIBLE UNIVERSES. YOU'LL WANT AT LEAST A FEW TIME DIMENSIONS TO PERMIT EASY TRANSIT THROUGH SPACE.
Panel 3:
Customer: I CAN AFFORD EXACTLY FOUR, AND ONLY ONE OF THEM CAN BE TIME.
Shopkeeper: BUT THEN... I MEAN... WHY EVEN BOTHER?
Panel 4:
Customer: HEY, I DIDN'T COME HERE FOR A *LECTURE.* I'M TRYING TO MAKE A QUICK UNIVERSE.
Shopkeeper: ...OKAY?
Panel 5:
Shopkeeper: THIS IS JUST A DISPLAY UNIVERSE, RIGHT? LIKE IT'S A MINIMALISM THING? YOU'RE NOT GROWING LIFE IN THERE, ARE YOU?
Customer: I, UH... NO.
Votey:
A speech bubble points down at a black egg/oval shape (a universe) sitting beside a tall striated form.
Voice: HOLY SHIT, IT'S INFLATING!
A customer stands at the counter of a shop with a sign reading "DIMENSION STORE."
Customer: HEY, I'M BUILDING A UNIVERSE AND I NEED SOME DIMENSIONS.
Panel 2:
Shopkeeper (offscreen, speaking from behind the counter): WELL, WE RECOMMEND YOU HAVE 26 DIMENSIONS FOR THE BEST OF ALL POSSIBLE UNIVERSES. YOU'LL WANT AT LEAST A FEW TIME DIMENSIONS TO PERMIT EASY TRANSIT THROUGH SPACE.
Panel 3:
Customer: I CAN AFFORD EXACTLY FOUR, AND ONLY ONE OF THEM CAN BE TIME.
Shopkeeper: BUT THEN... I MEAN... WHY EVEN BOTHER?
Panel 4:
Customer: HEY, I DIDN'T COME HERE FOR A *LECTURE.* I'M TRYING TO MAKE A QUICK UNIVERSE.
Shopkeeper: ...OKAY?
Panel 5:
Shopkeeper: THIS IS JUST A DISPLAY UNIVERSE, RIGHT? LIKE IT'S A MINIMALISM THING? YOU'RE NOT GROWING LIFE IN THERE, ARE YOU?
Customer: I, UH... NO.
Votey:
A speech bubble points down at a black egg/oval shape (a universe) sitting beside a tall striated form.
Voice: HOLY SHIT, IT'S INFLATING!
Alt text
A five-panel comic set in a shop labeled "DIMENSION STORE." A customer tells the shopkeeper, "Hey, I'm building a universe and I need some dimensions." The shopkeeper recommends 26 dimensions for the best of all possible universes, with at least a few time dimensions for easy transit through space. The customer replies that they can only afford exactly four, and only one can be time. The shopkeeper, dismayed, asks, "But then... I mean... why even bother?" The customer snaps, "Hey, I didn't come here for a LECTURE. I'm trying to make a quick universe." The shopkeeper warily says "...Okay?" then asks if this is just a display universe, a minimalism thing, and "You're not growing life in there, are you?" The customer shiftily answers, "I, uh... no." Votey (aftercomic): a small black egg-shaped universe sits next to a tall striated form while a voice exclaims, "Holy shit, it's inflating!" — the joke being our cheaply-made four-dimensional universe (like our own) is in fact growing life and undergoing cosmic inflation.
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.