graves
Original: graves on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Setting: A parent and child walk through a graveyard among gravestones, having a conversation across six panels.
Panel 1:
Child: Daddy, why do rich people have bigger graves?
Panel 2:
Parent: Well, when a grave gardener plants a grave seed over the spot it grows into a great big grave stone.
Panel 3:
Parent: Rich people are higher in mineral than the average person. This is because they are especially magnetic.
Panel 4:
Parent: So, the same quality that causes gold and silver to cling to them also causes them to become full mineraled. They go into a healthy grave.
Panel 5:
Child: It's not because they spend lots of money?
Child: On a grave? What would be the point of that?
Panel 6:
Child: It's comforting to know things are so rational.
Parent: If we weren't rational, wouldn't you just feel anxious all the time?
Votey:
A close-up of a face emerging from darkness, lit dramatically, with a slightly unsettling smile. Text above reads: ALL THE TIME
Panel 1:
Child: Daddy, why do rich people have bigger graves?
Panel 2:
Parent: Well, when a grave gardener plants a grave seed over the spot it grows into a great big grave stone.
Panel 3:
Parent: Rich people are higher in mineral than the average person. This is because they are especially magnetic.
Panel 4:
Parent: So, the same quality that causes gold and silver to cling to them also causes them to become full mineraled. They go into a healthy grave.
Panel 5:
Child: It's not because they spend lots of money?
Child: On a grave? What would be the point of that?
Panel 6:
Child: It's comforting to know things are so rational.
Parent: If we weren't rational, wouldn't you just feel anxious all the time?
Votey:
A close-up of a face emerging from darkness, lit dramatically, with a slightly unsettling smile. Text above reads: ALL THE TIME
Alt text
A six-panel SMBC comic set in a graveyard, where a small child and an adult parent walk among gravestones. The child asks, "Daddy, why do rich people have bigger graves?" The parent gives an absurd pseudo-scientific explanation: a "grave gardener" plants a "grave seed" that grows into a big gravestone; rich people are higher in minerals because they are "especially magnetic," which is the same quality that causes gold and silver to cling to them, so they become "full mineraled" and get a "healthy grave." The child asks, "It's not because they spend lots of money? On a grave? What would be the point of that?" In the final panel the child says, "It's comforting to know things are so rational," and the parent replies, "If we weren't rational, wouldn't you just feel anxious all the time?" The votey (bonus panel) shows a dimly lit, dramatically shadowed face with a strained, unsettling smile against a black background, with the words "ALL THE TIME" above it, implying the parent is in fact constantly anxious.
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.