why

An eight-panel SMBC comic. A man with red hair and a full red beard looks up and says, "Dear Lord... why do beard things happen to good people?" A voice from above (God) replies, "Well, it's all part of my plan to achieve the greatest total happiness." The man, treating it as theodicy, explains: "When bad things happen to good people, they struggle. Through struggle they achieve enlightenment." God clarifies, slightly confused: "I... maybe you misheard me? I said 'beard things', not 'bad things'." Beside a silhouette of a multi-legged creature shaped like a beard, the man calmly describes, "Beard things are these new leech-like aliens that attach to your chin like a beard then burrow into your jaw and chemically liquefy your organs." In the next panel a centipede-like creature is clinging to his chin; he says fondly, "I like their funny googley eyes." The creature makes a "Kneagh!" noise. In the final panel the man coos at it like a pet, "Who's a googly googly goo? It's you! It's you!" as a giant hand reaches in and the creature gurgles "Hrr-r-r-gh!" Votey (aftercomic): a stacked pile of pancakes that has little spider-like legs and resembles a beard creature, with a speech bubble reading, "Thank The Lord for this delicious meal."