spacefood
Original: spacefood on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1 (astronaut in spacesuit, radio): "MISSION CONTROL! THERE'S NO FOOD! IT'S A TWO-YEAR MISSION AND YOU DIDN'T PACK ANY FOOD?"
Panel 2 (Mission Control reply): "IT'S AN EXPERIMENT."
Panel 3 (a Mission Control woman with gray hair explains): "MY DAUGHTER, ENGINEER SALLY, FOUND A WAY TO MAKE GLITTER OUT OF PROTEIN, FIBER, AND MICRONUTRIENTS."
Panel 4: "SHE POURED SOME IN YOUR SUIT BEFORE YOU LEFT."
Panel 5 (the woman continues): "ACCORDING TO THE THEORY OF GLITTER NON-CONSERVATION, EVERY TIME YOU CHECK YOUR SHIRT THERE WILL BE MORE GLITTER."
Panel 6 (astronaut, alarmed): "MY GOD. IT'S EVERYWHERE."
Panel 7 (astronaut): "BUT... HOW?"
Panel 8 (Mission Control woman): "THAT IS NOT FOR US TO KNOW."
Votey:
Mission Control (off-panel speech bubble): "Now ignite your glitter propellant!"
The astronaut stares back, sweating, with a strained, dismayed expression.
Panel 2 (Mission Control reply): "IT'S AN EXPERIMENT."
Panel 3 (a Mission Control woman with gray hair explains): "MY DAUGHTER, ENGINEER SALLY, FOUND A WAY TO MAKE GLITTER OUT OF PROTEIN, FIBER, AND MICRONUTRIENTS."
Panel 4: "SHE POURED SOME IN YOUR SUIT BEFORE YOU LEFT."
Panel 5 (the woman continues): "ACCORDING TO THE THEORY OF GLITTER NON-CONSERVATION, EVERY TIME YOU CHECK YOUR SHIRT THERE WILL BE MORE GLITTER."
Panel 6 (astronaut, alarmed): "MY GOD. IT'S EVERYWHERE."
Panel 7 (astronaut): "BUT... HOW?"
Panel 8 (Mission Control woman): "THAT IS NOT FOR US TO KNOW."
Votey:
Mission Control (off-panel speech bubble): "Now ignite your glitter propellant!"
The astronaut stares back, sweating, with a strained, dismayed expression.
Alt text
An eight-panel SMBC comic. An astronaut in a spacesuit radios Mission Control in a panic: 'Mission control! There's no food! It's a two-year mission and you didn't pack any food?' Mission Control answers flatly, 'It's an experiment.' A gray-haired woman at Mission Control explains that her daughter, Engineer Sally, found a way to make glitter out of protein, fiber, and micronutrients, and poured some into the astronaut's suit before launch. She adds that 'according to the theory of glitter non-conservation, every time you check your shirt there will be more glitter.' The astronaut, looking down in alarm, says 'My god. It's everywhere.' then 'But... how?' The woman replies, 'That is not for us to know' — the joke being that the endlessly self-multiplying glitter, like real-life glitter, will sustain the astronaut as inexhaustible food. Votey (aftercomic): a single panel where Mission Control's voice bubble says 'Now ignite your glitter propellant!' and a close-up shows the astronaut's face, sweating and dismayed at the realization.
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.