methods-for-going-to-space
Original: methods-for-going-to-space on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Title (header bar): METHODS FOR GOING TO SPACE, WITH PROBLEMS AND SOLUTIONS
The comic is a table with three columns: METHOD | PROBLEM | SOLUTION.
Row 1 — METHOD: Rocket | PROBLEM: Must lift heavy fuel, making launches very expensive. | SOLUTION: Spend lots of money.
Row 2 — METHOD: Mass driver | PROBLEM: High speed encounter with atmosphere necessitates extremely tall structure. | SOLUTION: New theme park ride.
Row 3 — METHOD: Skyhook | PROBLEM: Have to catch cable in space. | SOLUTION: ...magnets?
Row 4 — METHOD: Rotating skyhook | PROBLEM: Have to catch rotating cable in space. | SOLUTION: Embrace risk of awesome death.
Row 5 — METHOD: Space elevator | PROBLEM: No material strong enough to make it. | SOLUTION: Remove half of Earth's mass. Most of it not that great anyway.
Row 6 — METHOD: Ballistic cannon | PROBLEM: Acceleration would liquify humans. | SOLUTION: Put them back together later?
Row 7 — METHOD: Space fountain | PROBLEM: Enormous structure that collapses the moment you stop supplying it massive power. | SOLUTION: If goes awry, make amusing comparison to financial sector.
Row 8 — METHOD: High altitude balloon launch | PROBLEM: NO. We are NOT running an entire launch operation from a gigantic mega-blimp. | SOLUTION: But— NO. But— NO! Come on pleeease. NO.
Votey:
A handwritten note reads:
Idea:
Launch Earth while rocket stays put.
The comic is a table with three columns: METHOD | PROBLEM | SOLUTION.
Row 1 — METHOD: Rocket | PROBLEM: Must lift heavy fuel, making launches very expensive. | SOLUTION: Spend lots of money.
Row 2 — METHOD: Mass driver | PROBLEM: High speed encounter with atmosphere necessitates extremely tall structure. | SOLUTION: New theme park ride.
Row 3 — METHOD: Skyhook | PROBLEM: Have to catch cable in space. | SOLUTION: ...magnets?
Row 4 — METHOD: Rotating skyhook | PROBLEM: Have to catch rotating cable in space. | SOLUTION: Embrace risk of awesome death.
Row 5 — METHOD: Space elevator | PROBLEM: No material strong enough to make it. | SOLUTION: Remove half of Earth's mass. Most of it not that great anyway.
Row 6 — METHOD: Ballistic cannon | PROBLEM: Acceleration would liquify humans. | SOLUTION: Put them back together later?
Row 7 — METHOD: Space fountain | PROBLEM: Enormous structure that collapses the moment you stop supplying it massive power. | SOLUTION: If goes awry, make amusing comparison to financial sector.
Row 8 — METHOD: High altitude balloon launch | PROBLEM: NO. We are NOT running an entire launch operation from a gigantic mega-blimp. | SOLUTION: But— NO. But— NO! Come on pleeease. NO.
Votey:
A handwritten note reads:
Idea:
Launch Earth while rocket stays put.
Alt text
A handmade-looking table titled "Methods for going to space, with problems and solutions," listing eight launch methods, each with a problem and a tongue-in-cheek solution. Rocket: lifting heavy fuel is expensive, solution "spend lots of money." Mass driver: needs an extremely tall structure, solution "new theme park ride." Skyhook: have to catch a cable in space, solution "...magnets?" Rotating skyhook: catch a rotating cable in space, solution "embrace risk of awesome death." Space elevator: no material strong enough, solution "remove half of Earth's mass. Most of it not that great anyway." Ballistic cannon: acceleration would liquify humans, solution "put them back together later?" Space fountain: a structure that collapses the instant you stop supplying it massive power, solution "if goes awry, make amusing comparison to financial sector." The last row, High altitude balloon launch, breaks format: its problem cell shouts "NO. We are NOT running an entire launch operation from a gigantic mega-blimp," and the solution cell escalates an argument: "But— NO. But— NO! Come on pleeease. NO." In the votey, a handwritten note reads: "Idea: Launch Earth while rocket stays put."
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.