jerk-society
Original: jerk-society on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1:
Man (with red hair, green shirt): GOD, I SWEAR IT'S LIKE THERE'S A JERK SOCIETY TRYING TO GET ME.
Woman (with green hair): I THINK THAT'S JUST A PROBLEM WITH SUBJECTIVE ANALYSIS.
Panel 2:
Man: IT'S LIKE HOW WE ALL THINK WE'RE ABOVE AVERAGE. EVERYONE KNOWS JERKS, BUT NOBODY THINKS HE'S A JERK.
Woman: HUH. I NEVER THOUGHT OF IT THAT WAY.
Man: YEAH.
Panel 3:
Woman: NOW, IF YOU'LL EXCUSE ME, I HAVE A MEETING.
Panel 4:
A hooded figure on a raised dais/pulpit, arm raised, addressing an assembly: BE IT RESOLVED THAT WE SHALL INVITE HIM TO A DINNER PARTY AT THE LAST MINUTE, THEN BE PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE WHEN HE CAN'T MAKE IT!
The assembled crowd: AYE!
Votey:
The woman (now revealed as a member of the assembly), shouting with a wild expression: NOW! LET US VIOLATE OUR ALLIANCE WITH THE DOUCHEBAG LEAGUE!
Man (with red hair, green shirt): GOD, I SWEAR IT'S LIKE THERE'S A JERK SOCIETY TRYING TO GET ME.
Woman (with green hair): I THINK THAT'S JUST A PROBLEM WITH SUBJECTIVE ANALYSIS.
Panel 2:
Man: IT'S LIKE HOW WE ALL THINK WE'RE ABOVE AVERAGE. EVERYONE KNOWS JERKS, BUT NOBODY THINKS HE'S A JERK.
Woman: HUH. I NEVER THOUGHT OF IT THAT WAY.
Man: YEAH.
Panel 3:
Woman: NOW, IF YOU'LL EXCUSE ME, I HAVE A MEETING.
Panel 4:
A hooded figure on a raised dais/pulpit, arm raised, addressing an assembly: BE IT RESOLVED THAT WE SHALL INVITE HIM TO A DINNER PARTY AT THE LAST MINUTE, THEN BE PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE WHEN HE CAN'T MAKE IT!
The assembled crowd: AYE!
Votey:
The woman (now revealed as a member of the assembly), shouting with a wild expression: NOW! LET US VIOLATE OUR ALLIANCE WITH THE DOUCHEBAG LEAGUE!
Alt text
A four-panel SMBC comic. Panel 1: A red-haired man in a green shirt complains to a green-haired woman, 'God, I swear it's like there's a jerk society trying to get me.' She replies, 'I think that's just a problem with subjective analysis.' Panel 2: The man explains, 'It's like how we all think we're above average. Everyone knows jerks, but nobody thinks HE's a jerk.' She says, 'Huh. I never thought of it that way.' He adds, 'Yeah.' Panel 3: The woman says, 'Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a meeting.' Panel 4: A robed, hooded figure stands on a raised pulpit before a shadowy assembly, arm raised, proclaiming, 'Be it resolved that we shall invite him to a dinner party at the last minute, then be passive aggressive when he can't make it!' The crowd roars, 'Aye!' — revealing there really IS a secret jerk society conspiring against him. Votey: A close-up of the green-haired woman, face contorted with manic glee, shouting to the assembly, 'Now! Let us violate our alliance with the Douchebag League!'
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.