2015-02-14
Original: 2015-02-14 on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1 (top): A teacher stands at a chalkboard with equations ("(x+1)", "x^2+2") written on it, addressing students.
Teacher: "NO, YOU'LL NEVER USE MATH IN REAL LIFE."
Teacher: "EVER."
Panel 2: A newspaper-style headline over a downward graph.
Headline: "MATH LITERACY FALLS TO ZERO"
Caption: "'ZERO' IS REALLY SMALL AMOUNT, SAY EXPERTS"
Panel 3: Another headline panel.
Headline: "FORMER HIGH SCHOOL MATH TEACHER OPENS BANK"
Caption: "PROMISES 10% MONTHLY INTEREST ON LOANS TO 'KEEP IT INTERESTING'"
Panel 4: Another headline panel.
Headline: "FORMER TEACHER IS NOW RICHEST MAN ON EARTH"
Caption: "ANNOYING STUDENTS NOW POOR AND SAD"
Panel 5 (bottom): Two students sit looking dejected, with equations ("(x+1)", "x^2+2x") floating nearby.
Student: "ARE WE EVER GONNA USE THIS IN REAL LIFE?"
Other student: "hmmm."
Votey:
A close-up drawing of a person's grinning, slightly maniacal face.
Text: "I WILL CRUSH YOU WITH ALGEBRA"
Teacher: "NO, YOU'LL NEVER USE MATH IN REAL LIFE."
Teacher: "EVER."
Panel 2: A newspaper-style headline over a downward graph.
Headline: "MATH LITERACY FALLS TO ZERO"
Caption: "'ZERO' IS REALLY SMALL AMOUNT, SAY EXPERTS"
Panel 3: Another headline panel.
Headline: "FORMER HIGH SCHOOL MATH TEACHER OPENS BANK"
Caption: "PROMISES 10% MONTHLY INTEREST ON LOANS TO 'KEEP IT INTERESTING'"
Panel 4: Another headline panel.
Headline: "FORMER TEACHER IS NOW RICHEST MAN ON EARTH"
Caption: "ANNOYING STUDENTS NOW POOR AND SAD"
Panel 5 (bottom): Two students sit looking dejected, with equations ("(x+1)", "x^2+2x") floating nearby.
Student: "ARE WE EVER GONNA USE THIS IN REAL LIFE?"
Other student: "hmmm."
Votey:
A close-up drawing of a person's grinning, slightly maniacal face.
Text: "I WILL CRUSH YOU WITH ALGEBRA"
Alt text
A five-panel comic. Top panel: a math teacher at a chalkboard covered in equations tells students, 'No, you'll never use math in real life. Ever.' The next three panels are mock newspaper headlines charting the consequences. First: 'Math literacy falls to zero,' subtitled 'Zero is really small amount, say experts,' over a graph plunging downward. Second: 'Former high school math teacher opens bank,' subtitled 'Promises 10% monthly interest on loans to keep it interesting.' Third: 'Former teacher is now richest man on Earth,' subtitled 'Annoying students now poor and sad.' Bottom panel: two glum students sit among floating equations, one asking, 'Are we ever gonna use this in real life?' and the other replying, 'hmmm.' The joke: the teacher who told kids math was useless exploits their innumeracy with predatory loans to become the richest person alive. Votey: a close-up of a grinning, maniacal face declaring, 'I will crush you with algebra.'
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.