2013-08-07
Original: 2013-08-07 on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1:
Child (in bed): DAAAD! DAAAD! THERE'S A MONSTER UNDER MY BED?
Panel 2:
Father: LET ME GET THIS STRAIGHT. SOME CREATURE LIVES UNDER YOUR BED 24 HOURS A DAY EVERY NIGHT, AS DARKNESS FALLS, YOU JUMP ONTO ITS ROOF AND START YELLING AND SCREAMING FOR ME TO COME AND GRADUATE IT... BUT THE CREATURE UNDER THE BED IS THE MONSTER?
Panel 3:
Father (leaning in, stern): YOU'RE THE MONSTER, BOY.
Panel 4:
Father: YOU.
Panel 5:
The child sits up, looking shocked/horrified.
Panel 6:
(A dark panel.)
Panel 7:
Father (off-panel, to the creature/monster): SO YOU BASICALLY REPLACED FEAR WITH GUILT?
The monster (under the bed): IT WAS THE QUIETEST EMOTION I COULD THINK OF.
Votey:
Monster: OH DAMN, IT'S CONTAGIOUS.
(Close-up of a monstrous face.)
Child (in bed): DAAAD! DAAAD! THERE'S A MONSTER UNDER MY BED?
Panel 2:
Father: LET ME GET THIS STRAIGHT. SOME CREATURE LIVES UNDER YOUR BED 24 HOURS A DAY EVERY NIGHT, AS DARKNESS FALLS, YOU JUMP ONTO ITS ROOF AND START YELLING AND SCREAMING FOR ME TO COME AND GRADUATE IT... BUT THE CREATURE UNDER THE BED IS THE MONSTER?
Panel 3:
Father (leaning in, stern): YOU'RE THE MONSTER, BOY.
Panel 4:
Father: YOU.
Panel 5:
The child sits up, looking shocked/horrified.
Panel 6:
(A dark panel.)
Panel 7:
Father (off-panel, to the creature/monster): SO YOU BASICALLY REPLACED FEAR WITH GUILT?
The monster (under the bed): IT WAS THE QUIETEST EMOTION I COULD THINK OF.
Votey:
Monster: OH DAMN, IT'S CONTAGIOUS.
(Close-up of a monstrous face.)
Alt text
A seven-panel SMBC comic. Panel 1: a child in bed calls out 'Daaad! Daaad! There's a monster under my bed?' Panel 2: the father deadpans, getting the story straight: a creature lives under the bed all day, and every night the child jumps onto its roof and screams for dad to come, yet the creature is called the monster. Panel 3: the father leans in, glaring, and says 'You're the monster, boy.' Panel 4: he points and says simply 'You.' Panel 5: the child sits up looking stunned and guilty. Panel 6: a black panel. Panel 7: the father, now talking to the actual under-bed monster, asks 'So you basically replaced fear with guilt?' and the monster replies 'It was the quietest emotion I could think of' — revealing the monster orchestrated the guilt trip to keep the kid quiet instead of scared. Votey: an extreme close-up of a monstrous face saying 'Oh damn, it's contagious,' suggesting the guilt has spread to the monster too.
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.