2013-02-16
Original: 2013-02-16 on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1:
Child: I wish there were puppies all over the place!
Old man: But don't you see? With science... THERE ARE!
Panel 2:
Old man: Dogs are mostly made of oxygen, nitrogen, carbon, and hydrogen.
Panel 3:
Old man: And GUESS WHAT? Air is made of the SAME STUFF!
Panel 4:
Old man: Because atoms are physically indistinct, there's no difference between a dog carbon atom and an air carbon atom!
Panel 5:
Old man: So dogs are EVERYWHERE! Above you, behind you, in the day, in the night, in the closet, on the ceiling, under the bed.
Panel 6:
Old man: Why... so to speak, every time you eat, you're eating a puppy! Every time you breathe, you're inhaling a puppy.
Panel 7:
Child: That's horrifying.
Panel 8:
Old man: Hey, don't thank me. Thank SCIENCE.
Panel 9:
Child: I didn't thank you.
Old man: Sound waves are also interchangeable!
Votey:
Child (sobbing): FUCK YOU DAD
Off-panel reply: I LOVE YOU TOO!
Child: I wish there were puppies all over the place!
Old man: But don't you see? With science... THERE ARE!
Panel 2:
Old man: Dogs are mostly made of oxygen, nitrogen, carbon, and hydrogen.
Panel 3:
Old man: And GUESS WHAT? Air is made of the SAME STUFF!
Panel 4:
Old man: Because atoms are physically indistinct, there's no difference between a dog carbon atom and an air carbon atom!
Panel 5:
Old man: So dogs are EVERYWHERE! Above you, behind you, in the day, in the night, in the closet, on the ceiling, under the bed.
Panel 6:
Old man: Why... so to speak, every time you eat, you're eating a puppy! Every time you breathe, you're inhaling a puppy.
Panel 7:
Child: That's horrifying.
Panel 8:
Old man: Hey, don't thank me. Thank SCIENCE.
Panel 9:
Child: I didn't thank you.
Old man: Sound waves are also interchangeable!
Votey:
Child (sobbing): FUCK YOU DAD
Off-panel reply: I LOVE YOU TOO!
Alt text
A nine-panel black-and-white comic with pink and purple backgrounds. A smiling old bald man in a sweater vest reassures a young child who wishes there were puppies everywhere. He explains that dogs are mostly made of oxygen, nitrogen, carbon, and hydrogen, and that air is made of the same stuff. Because atoms are physically indistinct, he says, there's no difference between a dog carbon atom and an air carbon atom, so dogs are everywhere -- above you, behind you, in the closet, under the bed. He cheerfully concludes that every time you eat you're eating a puppy and every time you breathe you're inhaling a puppy. The child, looking disturbed, says 'That's horrifying.' The man replies, 'Hey, don't thank me. Thank science.' The child says 'I didn't thank you,' and the man adds that sound waves are also interchangeable. Votey (aftercomic): the child, face scrunched and crying, has a speech bubble reading 'FUCK YOU DAD,' and an off-panel voice replies 'I LOVE YOU TOO!'
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.