2013-01-03
Original: 2013-01-03 on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1:
Man (on a phone/at a desk, in a dark room): Hi, is this the Department of Lies?
Woman (with glasses): Yes.
Panel 2:
Man: Thanks. I... uuuhhhh, I get it. You're lying because you're from the Department of Lies. But you're lying.
Woman: No. This is the Department of Lies. Here's our brochure.
(Caption on brochure / desk: D.O.L.)
Panel 3:
Woman: It's a common misconception that we're always lying, in which case we'd be lying about lying and thus telling the truth and so forth. But we're just a department that contains a few researchers who work on lies.
Panel 4:
Man: Ah. Okay. This is awkward. See, I was sent here to requisition a paradox.
Woman: You'll want the Paradox Department.
Panel 5:
Man: Does that exist where it doesn't exist?
Woman: No. It's on Eighth Street.
Panel 6:
Man: Do they have paradoxes?
Woman: No.
Man: AHA!
Panel 7:
Woman: The Paradox Department paradoxically contains no paradoxes, which is a paradox.
Man: No. "Normally" they have them.
Panel 8:
Woman: They're out right now because they're being merged with the Handlebar-Mania Department.
Man: Did they take over this department too?
Woman: Yes.
Votey:
Woman (with glasses): That last part was a lie.
Man (on a phone/at a desk, in a dark room): Hi, is this the Department of Lies?
Woman (with glasses): Yes.
Panel 2:
Man: Thanks. I... uuuhhhh, I get it. You're lying because you're from the Department of Lies. But you're lying.
Woman: No. This is the Department of Lies. Here's our brochure.
(Caption on brochure / desk: D.O.L.)
Panel 3:
Woman: It's a common misconception that we're always lying, in which case we'd be lying about lying and thus telling the truth and so forth. But we're just a department that contains a few researchers who work on lies.
Panel 4:
Man: Ah. Okay. This is awkward. See, I was sent here to requisition a paradox.
Woman: You'll want the Paradox Department.
Panel 5:
Man: Does that exist where it doesn't exist?
Woman: No. It's on Eighth Street.
Panel 6:
Man: Do they have paradoxes?
Woman: No.
Man: AHA!
Panel 7:
Woman: The Paradox Department paradoxically contains no paradoxes, which is a paradox.
Man: No. "Normally" they have them.
Panel 8:
Woman: They're out right now because they're being merged with the Handlebar-Mania Department.
Man: Did they take over this department too?
Woman: Yes.
Votey:
Woman (with glasses): That last part was a lie.
Alt text
An eight-panel SMBC webcomic, a deadpan back-and-forth set in a dim office between a suited man and a bespectacled woman at a desk. He phones/visits and asks: "Is this the Department of Lies?" She says yes. He reasons that if they're from the Department of Lies they must be lying, but she explains that's a common misconception, they don't always lie, they're just a department with a few researchers who work on lies, and she hands him a brochure labeled D.O.L. He admits he was actually sent to requisition a paradox; she directs him to the Paradox Department on Eighth Street. He asks "Does that exist where it doesn't exist?" (No, it's on Eighth Street) and "Do they have paradoxes?" She says no, and he triumphantly says "AHA!" She deflates the gotcha: the Paradox Department paradoxically containing no paradoxes is itself a paradox, but he objects that normally they have them. She explains they're out because they're being merged with the Handlebar-Mania Department, which also took over her department. The votey is a single panel: a close-up of the woman's face, smiling slightly, with a speech bubble in hand-lettered caps reading "THAT LAST PART WAS A LIE."
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.