2012-10-18
Original: 2012-10-18 on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1: A male news anchor and a blonde female news anchor sit at a news desk.
Male anchor: SO, WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE SLIGHT CHANGE IN TODAY'S ELECTION POLLS?
Panel 2: Close-up on the blonde female anchor, smiling.
Female anchor: WELL, THE CHANGE IS WITHIN MARGIN OF ERROR, SO SPECULATION WOULD BE A WASTE OF OUR TIME AND OUR VIEWERS'.
Panel 3: The male anchor leans in, grinning, as the female anchor sits beside him. An inset panel to the right shows the female anchor with a horrified, distorted face.
Male anchor: IN THAT CASE, ALL OF TODAY'S NEWS OPINION SHOWS WILL BE REPLACED BY EDUCATIONAL PROG[RAMMING]
Female anchor (inset, screaming): AAAH!
Panel 4: The female anchor has just woken up, looking shaken. The male anchor looks at her.
Male anchor: SANDY, YOU FELL ASLEEP! WE'RE ON IN TWO MINUTES!
Female anchor: I HAD THE MOST HORRIBLE NIGHTMARE.
Votey:
Caption (top): THIS WEEK'S "OLD MAN WEINERSMITH SHAKES HIS FIST AT YOU" AWARD GOES TO...
[A bearded old man scowls and shakes his fist.]
Caption (bottom banner): 24 HOUR NEWS!
Male anchor: SO, WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE SLIGHT CHANGE IN TODAY'S ELECTION POLLS?
Panel 2: Close-up on the blonde female anchor, smiling.
Female anchor: WELL, THE CHANGE IS WITHIN MARGIN OF ERROR, SO SPECULATION WOULD BE A WASTE OF OUR TIME AND OUR VIEWERS'.
Panel 3: The male anchor leans in, grinning, as the female anchor sits beside him. An inset panel to the right shows the female anchor with a horrified, distorted face.
Male anchor: IN THAT CASE, ALL OF TODAY'S NEWS OPINION SHOWS WILL BE REPLACED BY EDUCATIONAL PROG[RAMMING]
Female anchor (inset, screaming): AAAH!
Panel 4: The female anchor has just woken up, looking shaken. The male anchor looks at her.
Male anchor: SANDY, YOU FELL ASLEEP! WE'RE ON IN TWO MINUTES!
Female anchor: I HAD THE MOST HORRIBLE NIGHTMARE.
Votey:
Caption (top): THIS WEEK'S "OLD MAN WEINERSMITH SHAKES HIS FIST AT YOU" AWARD GOES TO...
[A bearded old man scowls and shakes his fist.]
Caption (bottom banner): 24 HOUR NEWS!
Alt text
A four-panel SMBC comic set at a TV news desk. Panel 1: a male anchor and a blonde female anchor (named Sandy) sit at a news desk; he asks what she thinks of the slight change in today's election polls. Panel 2: close on Sandy, smiling, saying the change is within the margin of error, so speculation would be a waste of their time and their viewers'. Panel 3: the male anchor grins and says that in that case all of today's news opinion shows will be replaced by educational programming; an inset shows Sandy's face twisted in horror, screaming 'AAAH!'. Panel 4: Sandy jolts awake, shaken; the man says 'Sandy, you fell asleep! We're on in two minutes!' and she replies she had the most horrible nightmare. The joke: a news anchor's worst nightmare is news being replaced by something educational. Votey: a mock award reading 'This week's Old Man Weinersmith Shakes His Fist At You award goes to...' over a drawing of a scowling bearded old man shaking his fist, with a bottom banner declaring the winner: '24 HOUR NEWS!'
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.