2012-11-10
Original: 2012-11-10 on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1:
God (a glowing yellow potato-shaped being): "GOD, YOU DON'T KNOW YOURSELF ANYMORE?"
Man (red-haired): "I DIDN'T MEAN TO IN FIRST PLACE."
Panel 2:
God: "I WAS LIKE YOU, THEN I WAS CURSED TO GET WHATEVER I HAD A STRAY VIOLENT THOUGHT. IT CAME INTO BEING. JUST THINK ABOUT THAT FOR A SECOND. HOW DO YOU THINK THAT'D GO?"
Panel 3:
Man: "I SUPPOSE YOU'D DO IT A LOT BY ACCIDENT."
God: "BINGO."
God: "I'D IMAGINE A PERSON DYING IN METEORS, AND GREAT, NOW MY WHOLE CITY CAME ONE TIME I DREAMED LIKE EVERYBODY ANOTHER TIME, I TURNED A LADY INTO SALT. WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN?"
Panel 4:
Man: "I HEARD! REALLY? I TRIED THAT THING."
Man: "REALLY? I BET THAT'S EMBARRASSING."
God: "I CREATED HELL BY ACCIDENT WHEN I OVERHEARD THIS CRAZY JUDGMENT SCHEME PUTTING INTO MY HEAD AND THEN IT WAS TOO LATE."
Panel 5:
God: "IT BECAME LIKE CLASSICAL CONDITIONING. EVERY TIME I HAD A BAD THOUGHT, SOMETHING TERRIBLE HAPPENED. SO I STOPPED HAVING BAD THOUGHTS."
God: "WHICH WAS LIKE SPAWNING A BIG PART OF MY BRAIN. I BECAME INTROSPECTIVE AND PRETTY DAMNED NICE, BUT I LEFT DEATH AND JUST WATCHED."
Panel 6:
Man: "WELL NOW THAT YOU'RE FIXED, WHY NOT COME BACK? WE LOST THE PLACE PRETTY SCREWED UP. FLOODS, FAMINE, WAR, DISEASE, FIRE..."
(image: a fiery red explosion shape)
Panel 7:
God (off-panel, dark scene): "DAMNIT."
Panel 8:
God: "NO WAIT, I MEAN... DARNIT."
Panel 9:
Man (now shown as a red, horned devil figure in a fiery cavern): "THIS SUCKS."
Votey:
A man with a mustache: "YEAH IT'S WEIRD FOR US TOO."
God (a glowing yellow potato-shaped being): "GOD, YOU DON'T KNOW YOURSELF ANYMORE?"
Man (red-haired): "I DIDN'T MEAN TO IN FIRST PLACE."
Panel 2:
God: "I WAS LIKE YOU, THEN I WAS CURSED TO GET WHATEVER I HAD A STRAY VIOLENT THOUGHT. IT CAME INTO BEING. JUST THINK ABOUT THAT FOR A SECOND. HOW DO YOU THINK THAT'D GO?"
Panel 3:
Man: "I SUPPOSE YOU'D DO IT A LOT BY ACCIDENT."
God: "BINGO."
God: "I'D IMAGINE A PERSON DYING IN METEORS, AND GREAT, NOW MY WHOLE CITY CAME ONE TIME I DREAMED LIKE EVERYBODY ANOTHER TIME, I TURNED A LADY INTO SALT. WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN?"
Panel 4:
Man: "I HEARD! REALLY? I TRIED THAT THING."
Man: "REALLY? I BET THAT'S EMBARRASSING."
God: "I CREATED HELL BY ACCIDENT WHEN I OVERHEARD THIS CRAZY JUDGMENT SCHEME PUTTING INTO MY HEAD AND THEN IT WAS TOO LATE."
Panel 5:
God: "IT BECAME LIKE CLASSICAL CONDITIONING. EVERY TIME I HAD A BAD THOUGHT, SOMETHING TERRIBLE HAPPENED. SO I STOPPED HAVING BAD THOUGHTS."
God: "WHICH WAS LIKE SPAWNING A BIG PART OF MY BRAIN. I BECAME INTROSPECTIVE AND PRETTY DAMNED NICE, BUT I LEFT DEATH AND JUST WATCHED."
Panel 6:
Man: "WELL NOW THAT YOU'RE FIXED, WHY NOT COME BACK? WE LOST THE PLACE PRETTY SCREWED UP. FLOODS, FAMINE, WAR, DISEASE, FIRE..."
(image: a fiery red explosion shape)
Panel 7:
God (off-panel, dark scene): "DAMNIT."
Panel 8:
God: "NO WAIT, I MEAN... DARNIT."
Panel 9:
Man (now shown as a red, horned devil figure in a fiery cavern): "THIS SUCKS."
Votey:
A man with a mustache: "YEAH IT'S WEIRD FOR US TOO."
Alt text
A tall multi-panel SMBC comic, mostly black backgrounds with a red-haired man talking to God, who is drawn as a glowing yellow potato-like blob. The man asks God why he doesn't know himself. God explains he was cursed so that any stray violent thought instantly came into being, causing accidental disasters: people dying in meteors, a whole city destroyed, turning a lady into salt. God admits he even created Hell by accident from an overheard judgment scheme. He developed classical conditioning to suppress bad thoughts, became introspective and nice, but left death running and just watched. The man invites God to come back since the world is a mess (floods, famine, war, disease, fire), shown as a red fiery burst. In darkness God blurts "DAMNIT," then corrects himself: "NO WAIT, I MEAN... DARNIT." The final panel shows the man transformed into a red horned devil in a fiery cavern saying "THIS SUCKS." Votey: a hand-drawn man with a mustache says "YEAH IT'S WEIRD FOR US TOO."
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.