2012-11-08
Original: 2012-11-08 on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1
Glowing-headed figure (to a defeated-looking man): First off, congratulations on your election win and condolences on your defeat.
Panel 2
Glowing figure: Now, of course one of the problems in our democracy is that everyone votes, but the largest voting bloc gets their candidate elected.
Panel 3
Glowing figure: Fortunately, we now have the technology to blend your genetics and phenotypes into one individual, with the same expression from each of you corresponding to the percentage of the votes accorded to each issue.
Panel 4
Man: What?
Panel 5
Man: I'm not on board.
Panel 6
Glowing figure: Hey! Do you want 50% of the people to feel disenfranchised? Won't EVOROBOMOCRACY be the fairest form of government yet devised? Do you want people to rebel when their votes don't matter?
Panel 7
Man: No. I guess not.
Panel 8
Glowing figure: Good! Now, strip and step into the combination chamber.
Panel 9
(Sound effect): ooon.
Panel 10
Man (muffled): Sleeke! None of that even made sense!
Panel 11
Glowing figure (laughing): Hahaha haha!
Panel 12
Man (now appearing different / blended): Maybe I should've paid more attention in science class.
Glowing figure: Yeah.
Votey:
A hooded figure thinks in a thought bubble: "I'm getting so much karma for this."
Glowing-headed figure (to a defeated-looking man): First off, congratulations on your election win and condolences on your defeat.
Panel 2
Glowing figure: Now, of course one of the problems in our democracy is that everyone votes, but the largest voting bloc gets their candidate elected.
Panel 3
Glowing figure: Fortunately, we now have the technology to blend your genetics and phenotypes into one individual, with the same expression from each of you corresponding to the percentage of the votes accorded to each issue.
Panel 4
Man: What?
Panel 5
Man: I'm not on board.
Panel 6
Glowing figure: Hey! Do you want 50% of the people to feel disenfranchised? Won't EVOROBOMOCRACY be the fairest form of government yet devised? Do you want people to rebel when their votes don't matter?
Panel 7
Man: No. I guess not.
Panel 8
Glowing figure: Good! Now, strip and step into the combination chamber.
Panel 9
(Sound effect): ooon.
Panel 10
Man (muffled): Sleeke! None of that even made sense!
Panel 11
Glowing figure (laughing): Hahaha haha!
Panel 12
Man (now appearing different / blended): Maybe I should've paid more attention in science class.
Glowing figure: Yeah.
Votey:
A hooded figure thinks in a thought bubble: "I'm getting so much karma for this."
Alt text
A tall SMBC comic. A figure whose head glows with flame-like rays addresses a glum-looking man. The glowing figure congratulates him on his election win and condolences on his defeat, then explains a problem with democracy: everyone votes, but the largest bloc's candidate wins. The figure proposes blending the two men's genetics and phenotypes into one individual, with each trait expressed in proportion to the percentage of votes for each issue. The man says "What?" and "I'm not on board." The glowing figure pressures him: does he want 50% of people to feel disenfranchised? Isn't 'evorobomocracy' the fairest government yet? The man reluctantly agrees. The figure tells him to strip and step into the combination chamber. A device makes an "ooon" sound. The man, now visibly altered, protests that none of this made sense, while the glowing figure laughs maniacally. In the final panel the blended man muses, "Maybe I should've paid more attention in science class," and the figure replies, "Yeah." Votey: a small hooded cartoon figure smiles, thinking in a bubble, "I'm getting so much karma for this."
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.