2012-11-19
Original: 2012-11-19 on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1 (caption): WHEN A SPERM AND EGG COMBINE, HEAVEN ENSOULS THE ZYGOTE.
[A crowned figure (God) zaps a glowing zygote on a pink/purple background.]
Panel 2 (caption): WE FIGURED OUT A WAY TO MAKE ZYGOTES SPLIT BACK INTO SPERM AND EGG.
[A scientist at a computer.]
Scientist: LOOK! THEY COMBINE, THEY SPLIT. THEY COMBINE, THEY SPLIT!
Panel 3 (caption): THIS CREATED AN UNEXPECTED OPPORTUNITY.
[The scientist lecturing at a podium.]
Scientist: THE SOUL IS MADE OF SPIRITUAL ELECTRICITY. SO IF WE MAKE THE SOUL COMBINE THEN BREAK UP OVER AND OVER, REALLY FAST, GENERATING A FLUCTUATING MAGNETIC FIELD, WHICH CAN BE USED TO GENERATE MORE CONCENTRATED SPIRITUAL ENERGY ALSO KNOWN AS SOULS.
Panel 4 (caption): A NEW FORM OF ENGINEERING EMERGED.
[A barren landscape with rows of soul-cells/cylinders.]
Narration: WE MAKE A MASSIVE GRID OF ZYGOTE CYCLERS, AND ECONOMIES OF SCALE LET US OFFER AFFORDABLE SPARE SOULS TO EVERYONE.
Panel 5 (caption): A READY CONSUMER MARKET WAS FOUND.
[A red devil figure gestures; a small character labeled DONE!]
Devil: I CAN DELIVER A TRILLION UNITS IN EXCHANGE FOR PERFECTION AND IMMORTALITY FOR ALL MANKIND.
Small figure: DONE!
Panel 6 (caption): OF COURSE, THERE WERE SOME NEGATIVE EXTERNALITIES.
[The devil amid flames with winged figures.]
Devil: MY ARMIES ARE INFINITE!
Panel 7 (caption): BUT, ON BALANCE, IT WAS A WIN.
[A small figure stands before a large robed/winged figure.]
Large figure: ON EARTH AS IT WAS IN HEAVEN.
Small figure: PLUS HEAVEN AND BONUS HELL, PLUS...
Votey:
[A hand-drawn capsule/pill labeled CANNABIALIS.]
[A crowned figure (God) zaps a glowing zygote on a pink/purple background.]
Panel 2 (caption): WE FIGURED OUT A WAY TO MAKE ZYGOTES SPLIT BACK INTO SPERM AND EGG.
[A scientist at a computer.]
Scientist: LOOK! THEY COMBINE, THEY SPLIT. THEY COMBINE, THEY SPLIT!
Panel 3 (caption): THIS CREATED AN UNEXPECTED OPPORTUNITY.
[The scientist lecturing at a podium.]
Scientist: THE SOUL IS MADE OF SPIRITUAL ELECTRICITY. SO IF WE MAKE THE SOUL COMBINE THEN BREAK UP OVER AND OVER, REALLY FAST, GENERATING A FLUCTUATING MAGNETIC FIELD, WHICH CAN BE USED TO GENERATE MORE CONCENTRATED SPIRITUAL ENERGY ALSO KNOWN AS SOULS.
Panel 4 (caption): A NEW FORM OF ENGINEERING EMERGED.
[A barren landscape with rows of soul-cells/cylinders.]
Narration: WE MAKE A MASSIVE GRID OF ZYGOTE CYCLERS, AND ECONOMIES OF SCALE LET US OFFER AFFORDABLE SPARE SOULS TO EVERYONE.
Panel 5 (caption): A READY CONSUMER MARKET WAS FOUND.
[A red devil figure gestures; a small character labeled DONE!]
Devil: I CAN DELIVER A TRILLION UNITS IN EXCHANGE FOR PERFECTION AND IMMORTALITY FOR ALL MANKIND.
Small figure: DONE!
Panel 6 (caption): OF COURSE, THERE WERE SOME NEGATIVE EXTERNALITIES.
[The devil amid flames with winged figures.]
Devil: MY ARMIES ARE INFINITE!
Panel 7 (caption): BUT, ON BALANCE, IT WAS A WIN.
[A small figure stands before a large robed/winged figure.]
Large figure: ON EARTH AS IT WAS IN HEAVEN.
Small figure: PLUS HEAVEN AND BONUS HELL, PLUS...
Votey:
[A hand-drawn capsule/pill labeled CANNABIALIS.]
Alt text
A tall SMBC comic in narrow panels reads top to bottom. Panel 1, caption "When a sperm and egg combine, heaven ensouls the zygote," shows a crowned God figure zapping a glowing zygote. Panel 2, "We figured out a way to make zygotes split back into sperm and egg," shows a scientist at a computer exclaiming, "Look! They combine, they split. They combine, they split!" Panel 3, "This created an unexpected opportunity," shows the scientist lecturing that the soul is made of spiritual electricity, so making souls rapidly combine and split generates a fluctuating magnetic field that can be used to generate more concentrated spiritual energy, also known as souls. Panel 4, "A new form of engineering emerged," shows a grid of soul-cycling cylinders; mass production and economies of scale make affordable spare souls available to everyone. Panel 5, "A ready consumer market was found," shows a red devil offering to deliver a trillion units in exchange for perfection and immortality for all mankind, with a tiny figure replying "Done!" Panel 6, "Of course, there were some negative externalities," shows the devil amid flames and winged figures shouting "My armies are infinite!" Panel 7, "But, on balance, it was a win," shows a small figure before a large robed figure who says "On earth as it was in heaven," while the small figure adds, "Plus heaven and bonus hell, plus..." The votey shows a hand-drawn capsule pill labeled CANNABIALIS.
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.