2012-06-16
Original: 2012-06-16 on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1 (orange tabby cat, narrating): Regret. It surrounds me, like an invisible fog. I know how I look for this huge emptiness. And yet, it remains.
Panel 2 (cat): Deficiencies can be fixed. Desire can be fulfilled. But my deepest regret is permanent. Inoperable.
Panel 3 (cat): But I realized the truth. Regret can't hurt me anymore if it is encouraged it in my body.
Panel 4 (cat): Yes, I love lasagna. But not for the taste, for I only taste shame. Not for the satiation, for in this world of shadows there is no satiety.
Panel 5 (cat): If I can only grow to the size of the universe, I will contain space and time. Whats been bad wants to be will exist as one in the chaotic architecture of my leviathan body.
Panel 6 (cat): And when past becomes present, I will reach across the gulf of time and grab that one awful moment, and I will say:
Panel 7 (against black background): "I'm sorry." "I'm sorry, and I love you."
Panel 8 (cat, glaring): I hate mondays.
Votey: A close-up of the cat's face, eyes squeezed shut, screaming/yawning, with the word "OOOODIIIIIE!" above it.
Panel 2 (cat): Deficiencies can be fixed. Desire can be fulfilled. But my deepest regret is permanent. Inoperable.
Panel 3 (cat): But I realized the truth. Regret can't hurt me anymore if it is encouraged it in my body.
Panel 4 (cat): Yes, I love lasagna. But not for the taste, for I only taste shame. Not for the satiation, for in this world of shadows there is no satiety.
Panel 5 (cat): If I can only grow to the size of the universe, I will contain space and time. Whats been bad wants to be will exist as one in the chaotic architecture of my leviathan body.
Panel 6 (cat): And when past becomes present, I will reach across the gulf of time and grab that one awful moment, and I will say:
Panel 7 (against black background): "I'm sorry." "I'm sorry, and I love you."
Panel 8 (cat, glaring): I hate mondays.
Votey: A close-up of the cat's face, eyes squeezed shut, screaming/yawning, with the word "OOOODIIIIIE!" above it.
Alt text
An eight-panel parody of a Garfield-style comic, drawn as an orange tabby cat delivering a long, grandiose, cosmic-horror monologue. Across the panels the cat narrates: "Regret. It surrounds me like an invisible fog... And yet, it remains. Deficiencies can be fixed... but my deepest regret is permanent. Inoperable. But I realized the truth: regret can't hurt me anymore if it is encouraged in my body." It continues: "Yes, I love lasagna. But not for the taste, for I only taste shame... in this world of shadows there is no satiety. If I can only grow to the size of the universe, I will contain space and time... as one in the chaotic architecture of my leviathan body. And when past becomes present, I will reach across the gulf of time and grab that one awful moment, and I will say:" Against a black void it says "I'm sorry. I'm sorry, and I love you." In the final panel the cat returns to a flat, glaring deadpan and simply states: "I hate mondays." Votey: a black-bordered close-up of the cat's face with eyes squeezed shut, mouth open mid-scream/yawn, with "OOOODIIIIIE!" lettered above it.
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.