2012-04-11
Original: 2012-04-11 on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Title: GENESIS 18:20
Panel 1
A bald man (Abraham): ABRAHAM, I MUST DESTROY SODOM, FOR IT IS FULL OF SIN AND PERVERSION.
Glowing yellow figure (God): [no text]
Panel 2
God: I SUPPOSE NOT.
Abraham: I'LL GO CHECK. THERE ARE 50 PEOPLE.
Panel 3
Abraham: DUDE, I COULDN'T FIND 50 GOOD PEOPLE.
God: THEN SODOM FALLS.
Panel 4
Abraham: WAIT, WHAT? WHAT IF THERE WERE 45 GOOD PEOPLE? THEY PERISH ALONGSIDE THE WICKED?
God: I SUPPOSE NOT. I'LL GO CHECK TO SEE IF THERE ARE 45 PEOPLE.
Panel 5 (Caption: LATER...)
Abraham: DUH... YOU WERE RIGHT. NO 45 PEOPLE.
God: THEN SODOM FALLS!
Panel 6
Abraham: WHOA HEY. WHAT IF THERE WERE, LIKE... 40?
God: OK I GUESS I WOULDN'T. I'LL GO CHECK.
Panel 7 (Caption: LATER...)
Abraham: OH MAN, NOT EVEN 40.
God: I'M DESTROYING SODOM, MAN.
Panel 8
Abraham: WHAT ABOUT 30? JUST 30 GOOD BECAUSE I BETTER GO BACK?
God: NO.
Panel 9 (Caption: LATER...)
Abraham: YOU BEEN TELLIN' ME WHAT TO DO SINCE DAY ONE!
God: I'M GOD.
Panel 10
Abraham: I WAS TELLIN' THE LADIES ABOUT YER HOLIER THAN THOU BLESSES!
God: YOU'RE DRUNK, MAN.
Panel 11
Abraham: WHOA I HAVEN'T TOUCHED ALCOHOL SINCE I DRANK IT!
God: OKAY, FINE, WHATEVER, I'M GONNA GO BLOW UP SODOM.
Panel 12
Abraham: NO / NO. WHAT IF LIKE 20 OR 10 GOOD BITCHES ARE THERE? WHAT'S IT GO UP CHUCK, I GOTTA... OH GOD, OH GOD I'M GONNA PUKE.
Panel 13
Abraham: YOU JUST HAD THIS DAY CRANKED OPEN... BLEEAAGHH! [vomiting]
God: [no text]
Panel 14
[A flaming, destroyed cityscape — Sodom in flames. No dialogue.]
Votey:
A close-up of the bearded man's (Abraham's) face, with a speech bubble.
Abraham: CAN I STILL ENTER THE PROMISED LAND?
Panel 1
A bald man (Abraham): ABRAHAM, I MUST DESTROY SODOM, FOR IT IS FULL OF SIN AND PERVERSION.
Glowing yellow figure (God): [no text]
Panel 2
God: I SUPPOSE NOT.
Abraham: I'LL GO CHECK. THERE ARE 50 PEOPLE.
Panel 3
Abraham: DUDE, I COULDN'T FIND 50 GOOD PEOPLE.
God: THEN SODOM FALLS.
Panel 4
Abraham: WAIT, WHAT? WHAT IF THERE WERE 45 GOOD PEOPLE? THEY PERISH ALONGSIDE THE WICKED?
God: I SUPPOSE NOT. I'LL GO CHECK TO SEE IF THERE ARE 45 PEOPLE.
Panel 5 (Caption: LATER...)
Abraham: DUH... YOU WERE RIGHT. NO 45 PEOPLE.
God: THEN SODOM FALLS!
Panel 6
Abraham: WHOA HEY. WHAT IF THERE WERE, LIKE... 40?
God: OK I GUESS I WOULDN'T. I'LL GO CHECK.
Panel 7 (Caption: LATER...)
Abraham: OH MAN, NOT EVEN 40.
God: I'M DESTROYING SODOM, MAN.
Panel 8
Abraham: WHAT ABOUT 30? JUST 30 GOOD BECAUSE I BETTER GO BACK?
God: NO.
Panel 9 (Caption: LATER...)
Abraham: YOU BEEN TELLIN' ME WHAT TO DO SINCE DAY ONE!
God: I'M GOD.
Panel 10
Abraham: I WAS TELLIN' THE LADIES ABOUT YER HOLIER THAN THOU BLESSES!
God: YOU'RE DRUNK, MAN.
Panel 11
Abraham: WHOA I HAVEN'T TOUCHED ALCOHOL SINCE I DRANK IT!
God: OKAY, FINE, WHATEVER, I'M GONNA GO BLOW UP SODOM.
Panel 12
Abraham: NO / NO. WHAT IF LIKE 20 OR 10 GOOD BITCHES ARE THERE? WHAT'S IT GO UP CHUCK, I GOTTA... OH GOD, OH GOD I'M GONNA PUKE.
Panel 13
Abraham: YOU JUST HAD THIS DAY CRANKED OPEN... BLEEAAGHH! [vomiting]
God: [no text]
Panel 14
[A flaming, destroyed cityscape — Sodom in flames. No dialogue.]
Votey:
A close-up of the bearded man's (Abraham's) face, with a speech bubble.
Abraham: CAN I STILL ENTER THE PROMISED LAND?
Alt text
A tall black-and-white SMBC comic titled "GENESIS 18:20," retelling Abraham's bargaining with God over the city of Sodom — but God is drawn as a glowing yellow blob and Abraham gets progressively drunker. In a run of panels, the bald Abraham keeps haggling God down: God agrees not to destroy Sodom if 50 good people can be found, then 45, then 40, then 30, each time saying he'll "go check" while Abraham slurs more and more. By the later panels Abraham is visibly intoxicated, surrounded by other people, ranting ("I was tellin' the ladies about yer holier than thou blesses!") while God says "You're drunk, man." Abraham insists he hasn't touched alcohol, then dissolves into garbled drunken babble about "20 or 10 good bitches" before announcing he's going to puke. In the second-to-last panel he vomits with a "BLEEAAGHH!" The final panel shows the city of Sodom engulfed in flames against a dark sky, with no dialogue — God destroyed it anyway. The bonus votey panel is a close-up of a bearded Abraham's face asking hopefully, "Can I still enter the promised land?"
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.