2011-09-29
Original: 2011-09-29 on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1
Bald man (the philosopher/questioner): If you were in a burning building, and you could either save an elderly woman or the Mona Lisa, which would you save?
Panel 2
Other man: That's easy. The market has already spoken: the Mona Lisa is worth 762 times the value of a human life.
Panel 3
Bald man: Right, but if you were actually in that situation, what would you do?
Panel 4
Other man: Bidding war. If the lady's family is willing to pay more, then from my perspective, they have equal value. Of course, since I wouldn't have owned the painting later, a substantial discount might...
Panel 5
Bald man: Okay, but what would be the good thing to do?
Other man: High yield savings account. The interest alone would be...
Panel 6
Bald man: I'm asking how you can compare the value of a great piece of art to that of a human being's life.
Panel 7
Other man: Ohhhhhhhhh!
Panel 8
Other man: You'll want to use what are called "fractions."
Panel 9
Bald man: Economists are now banned from philosophy.
Votey:
Speech bubble (off-panel voice): Why?
Man in profile: Not enough beards.
Bald man (the philosopher/questioner): If you were in a burning building, and you could either save an elderly woman or the Mona Lisa, which would you save?
Panel 2
Other man: That's easy. The market has already spoken: the Mona Lisa is worth 762 times the value of a human life.
Panel 3
Bald man: Right, but if you were actually in that situation, what would you do?
Panel 4
Other man: Bidding war. If the lady's family is willing to pay more, then from my perspective, they have equal value. Of course, since I wouldn't have owned the painting later, a substantial discount might...
Panel 5
Bald man: Okay, but what would be the good thing to do?
Other man: High yield savings account. The interest alone would be...
Panel 6
Bald man: I'm asking how you can compare the value of a great piece of art to that of a human being's life.
Panel 7
Other man: Ohhhhhhhhh!
Panel 8
Other man: You'll want to use what are called "fractions."
Panel 9
Bald man: Economists are now banned from philosophy.
Votey:
Speech bubble (off-panel voice): Why?
Man in profile: Not enough beards.
Alt text
A nine-panel SMBC comic showing a conversation between a bald man (a philosopher) and another man (an economist) who alternate speaking in dark, talking-head panels. The bald man poses a classic ethics thought experiment: in a burning building, would you save an elderly woman or the Mona Lisa? The economist keeps answering with money logic instead of ethics: he says the market values the Mona Lisa at 762 times a human life, proposes a bidding war between the painting's owner and the woman's family, and suggests putting the proceeds in a high-yield savings account, never engaging with the moral question. The philosopher repeatedly tries to redirect him to what the right thing to *do* would be, and finally spells out that he is asking how one can compare the value of great art to a human life. The economist has a sudden realization ('Ohhhhhhhhh!') and then condescendingly tells him he'll want to use what are called 'fractions.' In the final panel the philosopher declares that economists are now banned from philosophy. The bonus votey panel is a simple black-and-white drawing of a man's face in profile; an off-panel voice asks 'Why?' and he replies, 'Not enough beards.'
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.