2011-09-23
Original: 2011-09-23 on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1: A man with red/orange hair sits across a small table from a woman with brown hair, in a dimly lit setting.
Red-haired man: "BABY, I WOULD CLIMB ANY MOUNTAIN... CROSS ANY VALLEY... JUST TO BE WITH YOU... I WOULD SWIM ANY-"
Brown-haired woman (holding up a brick): "WOULD YOU EAT THIS BRICK?"
Panel 2: Close on the red-haired man, looking confused.
Red-haired man: "WHAT?"
Panel 3: The brown-haired woman holds up the brick.
Woman: "WOULD YOU EAT THIS BRICK. ALL OF IT."
Panel 4: The red-haired man (seen from behind/profile) starts to speak again as the woman holds out the brick.
Red-haired man: "I WOULD CLIMB ANY MOUNTAIN, AND I-"
Woman: "LOTS OF GUYS WOULD. I NEED SOMEONE SPECIAL. SOMEONE WHO LOVES ME SO MUCH, HE WOULD EAT THIS BRICK. JUST THIS ONE BRICK."
Panel 5: The red-haired man looks doubtful. The woman is placing the brick into a toaster.
Red-haired man: "I DON'T THINK I CAN EAT A BRICK."
Woman: "WELL, NOW WHENEVER YOU THINK 'WHY DOESN'T SHE LOVE ME,' AT LEAST YOU'LL KNOW THE ANSWER."
Panel 6: The red-haired man sits alone at the table, the woman standing/leaving behind him.
Panel 7: Outside scene at night. The woman walks away from the building, smiling. An off-panel voice (lightning-bolt speech bubble) asks: "HOW'D IT GO?"
Woman: "YOU WERE RIGHT! IT'S EASY TO GET RID OF CLINGY GUYS!"
Votey: A rough black-and-white sketch close-up of the red-haired man biting into the brick, looking sad.
Man: "I'M SO ALONE."
Red-haired man: "BABY, I WOULD CLIMB ANY MOUNTAIN... CROSS ANY VALLEY... JUST TO BE WITH YOU... I WOULD SWIM ANY-"
Brown-haired woman (holding up a brick): "WOULD YOU EAT THIS BRICK?"
Panel 2: Close on the red-haired man, looking confused.
Red-haired man: "WHAT?"
Panel 3: The brown-haired woman holds up the brick.
Woman: "WOULD YOU EAT THIS BRICK. ALL OF IT."
Panel 4: The red-haired man (seen from behind/profile) starts to speak again as the woman holds out the brick.
Red-haired man: "I WOULD CLIMB ANY MOUNTAIN, AND I-"
Woman: "LOTS OF GUYS WOULD. I NEED SOMEONE SPECIAL. SOMEONE WHO LOVES ME SO MUCH, HE WOULD EAT THIS BRICK. JUST THIS ONE BRICK."
Panel 5: The red-haired man looks doubtful. The woman is placing the brick into a toaster.
Red-haired man: "I DON'T THINK I CAN EAT A BRICK."
Woman: "WELL, NOW WHENEVER YOU THINK 'WHY DOESN'T SHE LOVE ME,' AT LEAST YOU'LL KNOW THE ANSWER."
Panel 6: The red-haired man sits alone at the table, the woman standing/leaving behind him.
Panel 7: Outside scene at night. The woman walks away from the building, smiling. An off-panel voice (lightning-bolt speech bubble) asks: "HOW'D IT GO?"
Woman: "YOU WERE RIGHT! IT'S EASY TO GET RID OF CLINGY GUYS!"
Votey: A rough black-and-white sketch close-up of the red-haired man biting into the brick, looking sad.
Man: "I'M SO ALONE."
Alt text
A six-panel comic. A red-haired man on a date professes over-the-top devotion: 'Baby, I would climb any mountain, cross any valley, just to be with you, I would swim any-' The brown-haired woman across the table interrupts, holding up a brick: 'Would you eat this brick? All of it.' When he keeps reciting romantic cliches, she insists she needs someone special who loves her enough to eat just this one brick. He says, 'I don't think I can eat a brick.' She drops the brick into a toaster and replies, 'Well, now whenever you think "why doesn't she love me," at least you'll know the answer.' He sits alone. Outside, she walks off smiling as an off-panel voice asks 'How'd it go?' and she answers, 'You were right! It's easy to get rid of clingy guys!' Votey: a sketchy black-and-white close-up of the dejected man actually biting into the brick, saying 'I'm so alone.'
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.