2011-05-16
Original: 2011-05-16 on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
The main comic is a long vertical stack of handwritten formal letters exchanged between several British lords and railway/technical-support officials, each letter framed in its own panel, read top to bottom.
Letter 1 (Lord Rothleton to a Technical Support Corporation):
Dear Sir,
I have recently purchased one of your Analytical Engines, and I am most apprehensive as to incorrectly setting it up.
Please advise.
Yours, Lord Rothleton, esq.
Letter 2 (to Lord Bradleton):
Dear Lord Bradleton,
This is Velbur. Did you remember to keep your near-servant crank the mill of the Analytical Engine?
Yours, Velbur
Letter 3 (Lord Rothleton):
Dear Velbur,
I did.
Sincerely, Lord Rothleton, esq.
Letter 4 (to Lord Bradleton):
Dear Lord Bradleton,
Please have your near-servant cease cranking the mill, then commence cranking once again.
Yours, Velbur
Letter 5 (Lord Rothleton):
Dear Velbur,
Change five on the position fourteen.
Sincerely, Lord Rothleton, esq.
Letter 6 (to Lord Bradleton):
Dear Lord Bradleton,
Please hold off on any miscues until I communicate with my superior.
Yours, Velbur
Letter 7 (Lord Rothleton):
Dear Velbur,
Very well.
Sincerely, Lord Rothleton, esq.
The exchange then escalates and is passed up a chain of superintendents and a "South Asia Technical Support Corporation," with further increasingly bureaucratic letters:
Dear Velbur,
I have been on hold now for three and twenty weeks. I wish to speak to your superior.
Sincerely, Lord Rothleton, esq.
Dear Lord Bradleton,
This is your near-servant Rayley, Superintendent of South Asia Technical Railroad corporation.
Did you remember to keep your near-servant crank the mill of the Analytical Engine?
Yours, Rayley
Dear Superintendent Rayley,
They did, then cease cranking, then they did, as I have already indicated. Please now re-establish technical communication so that I may resolve the problem.
Yours, Lord Rothleton, esq.
Dear Lord Bradleton,
My apologies for the difficulty. Please have your near-servant cease cranking the mill, then commence cranking once again.
Yours, Rayley
Dear Superintendent Rayley,
Indeed I have, not for the problem persists.
Sincerely, Lord Rothleton, esq.
Dear Lord Bradleton,
I must consult overseas technical manuals. Please enjoy the enclosed music while I attempt to balance the problem.
Yours, Rayley
Dear Superintendent Rayley,
It has been one and twenty weeks, and I am gratified to say I have, following review, reached the position one and twenty, and the problem yet persists, just as before, since the year 1860.
Yours, Lord Rothleton, esq.
Dear Lord Bradleton,
I am dismayed that the problem yet persists. Please refer to position one and twenty, then commence cranking once again. The Dunsmoke Bureau may resolve it.
Yours, Rayley
Dear Rayley, or Velbur,
Three and twenty years have passed since I have received your several missives. I have cried out at the position one and twenty, no longer wishing to crank, and my near-servant rather cease cranking.
Yours, Lord Rothleton, esq.
Dear Lord Bradleton,
The technical issue you require can undoubtedly aid in the War against the Dunsmoke Bureau. Please re-establish communication.
Yours, South Asia Technical Support Communication
Dear South Asia Technical Support Corporation,
There have been a priority of running. Try the Analytical Engine. Holy Roly Engine.
Sincerely, Lord Rothleton, esq.
Dear Lord Bradleton,
This is Velbur. Hello! Did you remember to keep your near-servant crank the mill of the Analytical Engine?
Yours, Velbur
Final panel of the main strip is a newspaper:
THE SUNDAY TIMES
93 BRITISH LORDS GO MAD IN SAME MONTH. CAUSE UNKNOWN.
Votey:
A woman with glasses and her hair pulled back leans toward a shirtless man who is hunched over a desk drawing.
Woman: "Don't comics have pictures?"
Man: "You are SO out of touch."
Letter 1 (Lord Rothleton to a Technical Support Corporation):
Dear Sir,
I have recently purchased one of your Analytical Engines, and I am most apprehensive as to incorrectly setting it up.
Please advise.
Yours, Lord Rothleton, esq.
Letter 2 (to Lord Bradleton):
Dear Lord Bradleton,
This is Velbur. Did you remember to keep your near-servant crank the mill of the Analytical Engine?
Yours, Velbur
Letter 3 (Lord Rothleton):
Dear Velbur,
I did.
Sincerely, Lord Rothleton, esq.
Letter 4 (to Lord Bradleton):
Dear Lord Bradleton,
Please have your near-servant cease cranking the mill, then commence cranking once again.
Yours, Velbur
Letter 5 (Lord Rothleton):
Dear Velbur,
Change five on the position fourteen.
Sincerely, Lord Rothleton, esq.
Letter 6 (to Lord Bradleton):
Dear Lord Bradleton,
Please hold off on any miscues until I communicate with my superior.
Yours, Velbur
Letter 7 (Lord Rothleton):
Dear Velbur,
Very well.
Sincerely, Lord Rothleton, esq.
The exchange then escalates and is passed up a chain of superintendents and a "South Asia Technical Support Corporation," with further increasingly bureaucratic letters:
Dear Velbur,
I have been on hold now for three and twenty weeks. I wish to speak to your superior.
Sincerely, Lord Rothleton, esq.
Dear Lord Bradleton,
This is your near-servant Rayley, Superintendent of South Asia Technical Railroad corporation.
Did you remember to keep your near-servant crank the mill of the Analytical Engine?
Yours, Rayley
Dear Superintendent Rayley,
They did, then cease cranking, then they did, as I have already indicated. Please now re-establish technical communication so that I may resolve the problem.
Yours, Lord Rothleton, esq.
Dear Lord Bradleton,
My apologies for the difficulty. Please have your near-servant cease cranking the mill, then commence cranking once again.
Yours, Rayley
Dear Superintendent Rayley,
Indeed I have, not for the problem persists.
Sincerely, Lord Rothleton, esq.
Dear Lord Bradleton,
I must consult overseas technical manuals. Please enjoy the enclosed music while I attempt to balance the problem.
Yours, Rayley
Dear Superintendent Rayley,
It has been one and twenty weeks, and I am gratified to say I have, following review, reached the position one and twenty, and the problem yet persists, just as before, since the year 1860.
Yours, Lord Rothleton, esq.
Dear Lord Bradleton,
I am dismayed that the problem yet persists. Please refer to position one and twenty, then commence cranking once again. The Dunsmoke Bureau may resolve it.
Yours, Rayley
Dear Rayley, or Velbur,
Three and twenty years have passed since I have received your several missives. I have cried out at the position one and twenty, no longer wishing to crank, and my near-servant rather cease cranking.
Yours, Lord Rothleton, esq.
Dear Lord Bradleton,
The technical issue you require can undoubtedly aid in the War against the Dunsmoke Bureau. Please re-establish communication.
Yours, South Asia Technical Support Communication
Dear South Asia Technical Support Corporation,
There have been a priority of running. Try the Analytical Engine. Holy Roly Engine.
Sincerely, Lord Rothleton, esq.
Dear Lord Bradleton,
This is Velbur. Hello! Did you remember to keep your near-servant crank the mill of the Analytical Engine?
Yours, Velbur
Final panel of the main strip is a newspaper:
THE SUNDAY TIMES
93 BRITISH LORDS GO MAD IN SAME MONTH. CAUSE UNKNOWN.
Votey:
A woman with glasses and her hair pulled back leans toward a shirtless man who is hunched over a desk drawing.
Woman: "Don't comics have pictures?"
Man: "You are SO out of touch."
Alt text
A very tall comic made up of a stack of handwritten formal Victorian letters, each in its own framed panel, read from top to bottom. The letters are an increasingly absurd exchange between Lord Rothleton and a series of technical-support officials (Velbur, Superintendent Rayley, a 'South Asia Technical Support Corporation') about a malfunctioning Analytical Engine. The correspondence loops endlessly: the support reps keep telling Lord Rothleton to have his near-servant 'cease cranking the mill, then commence cranking once again,' put him on hold for weeks and then years, send enclosed music to listen to while they 'balance the problem,' and reference fictional bodies like the Dunsmoke Bureau. Years pass; the same identical first question ('Did you remember to keep your near-servant crank the mill of the Analytical Engine?') is asked again at the end, restarting the loop. The strip's final panel is a newspaper headline: THE SUNDAY TIMES, '93 BRITISH LORDS GO MAD IN SAME MONTH. CAUSE UNKNOWN.' The visual joke is that a webcomic page consists almost entirely of dense walls of handwritten text with no pictures. The bonus votey panel makes this explicit: a bespectacled woman leans over a shirtless man drawing at a desk and asks, 'Don't comics have pictures?' He replies, 'You are SO out of touch.'
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.