2011-06-11
Original: 2011-06-11 on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1: A balding man with glasses and a woman with gray hair sit together.
Man: Do you think we'll ever make an "island of stability" element?
Woman: Definitely.
Panel 2:
Man: It's just strange that there should be a whole group of stable elements that exist nowhere but in our lab.
Woman: Yeah.
Panel 3: A starry sky. The two figures are shown as small white silhouettes against the cosmos.
(no dialogue)
Panel 4: Close-up on the man's face, the woman beside him.
Man: Have you considered the possibility that human beings ARE the chemical reaction that produces superheavy elements?
Man: That's a scary thought.
Woman: Why?
Panel 5: A red banner reads "SOON...". Two green, multi-eyed alien creatures sit together.
Alien 1: Ooh! Planet 423772 just precipitated unbihexium!
Alien 2: Oh, thank goodness. Funding for its star runs out in two weeks.
Votey: A black-and-white character holds up a battery marked with an equals/charge symbol.
Character: These unbihexium batteries last 20% longer!
Man: Do you think we'll ever make an "island of stability" element?
Woman: Definitely.
Panel 2:
Man: It's just strange that there should be a whole group of stable elements that exist nowhere but in our lab.
Woman: Yeah.
Panel 3: A starry sky. The two figures are shown as small white silhouettes against the cosmos.
(no dialogue)
Panel 4: Close-up on the man's face, the woman beside him.
Man: Have you considered the possibility that human beings ARE the chemical reaction that produces superheavy elements?
Man: That's a scary thought.
Woman: Why?
Panel 5: A red banner reads "SOON...". Two green, multi-eyed alien creatures sit together.
Alien 1: Ooh! Planet 423772 just precipitated unbihexium!
Alien 2: Oh, thank goodness. Funding for its star runs out in two weeks.
Votey: A black-and-white character holds up a battery marked with an equals/charge symbol.
Character: These unbihexium batteries last 20% longer!
Alt text
A five-panel SMBC comic. An older couple of scientists talk. The man asks if they'll ever make an "island of stability" element; the woman says definitely. He muses that it's strange a whole group of stable elements exists nowhere but in their lab. A panel shows them as tiny silhouettes under a vast starry sky. He then asks whether human beings ARE the chemical reaction that produces superheavy elements, calling it a scary thought; she asks why. A red "SOON..." banner introduces two green multi-eyed aliens: one exclaims that Planet 423772 just precipitated unbihexium, the other replies with relief that funding for its star runs out in two weeks. The joke frames humanity's existence as merely a step in a cosmic, grant-funded experiment to synthesize superheavy elements. Votey: a black-and-white character holds up a battery, declaring "These unbihexium batteries last 20% longer!"
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.