2011-04-07
Original: 2011-04-07 on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1:
Darwin (a balding, white-bearded man, frowning): EAT, FUCK, FIGHT!
(An orange cat snarls, its mouth bloody.)
Panel 2:
Darwin (eyes closed, scowling): EAT, FUCK, FIGHT!
(The orange cat hisses, mouth wide open; a grey cat appears below it.)
Panel 3:
Darwin (mouth open, shouting): EAT, FUCK, FIGHT!
(The orange cat snarls; a pale cat with blue eyes appears below.)
Panel 4:
Darwin: EAT, FUCK, F... HEY. WHY'D YOU STOP LISTENING TO ME?
(The orange cat now sits calmly, content, with a relaxed expression.)
Cat: SORRY, DARWIN... THEY JUST CUT OUT MY TESTICLES. YOU HAVE NO FURTHER HOLD ON ME.
Panel 5:
(Close-up of Darwin's face, looking dismayed.)
Darwin: BUT... IF YOU DON'T HAVE ME, YOU DON'T HAVE A PURPOSE IN LIFE... SO...
Panel 6 (caption box: SOON...):
(The orange cat, now enormously fat, lounges on a purple bed/couch, eyes blissfully closed.)
Cat: SOOOOO... HAAAAPPPY...
Votey:
Caption (no characters): FUN FACT: EVOLUTION CAN ALSO BE CALLED E.F.F. THEORY.
Darwin (a balding, white-bearded man, frowning): EAT, FUCK, FIGHT!
(An orange cat snarls, its mouth bloody.)
Panel 2:
Darwin (eyes closed, scowling): EAT, FUCK, FIGHT!
(The orange cat hisses, mouth wide open; a grey cat appears below it.)
Panel 3:
Darwin (mouth open, shouting): EAT, FUCK, FIGHT!
(The orange cat snarls; a pale cat with blue eyes appears below.)
Panel 4:
Darwin: EAT, FUCK, F... HEY. WHY'D YOU STOP LISTENING TO ME?
(The orange cat now sits calmly, content, with a relaxed expression.)
Cat: SORRY, DARWIN... THEY JUST CUT OUT MY TESTICLES. YOU HAVE NO FURTHER HOLD ON ME.
Panel 5:
(Close-up of Darwin's face, looking dismayed.)
Darwin: BUT... IF YOU DON'T HAVE ME, YOU DON'T HAVE A PURPOSE IN LIFE... SO...
Panel 6 (caption box: SOON...):
(The orange cat, now enormously fat, lounges on a purple bed/couch, eyes blissfully closed.)
Cat: SOOOOO... HAAAAPPPY...
Votey:
Caption (no characters): FUN FACT: EVOLUTION CAN ALSO BE CALLED E.F.F. THEORY.
Alt text
A six-panel comic. In the first three panels, a balding white-bearded man (named Darwin) repeatedly shouts "EAT, FUCK, FIGHT!" while beside him an orange cat snarls aggressively, blood on its mouth, surrounded by other cats. In panel four the cat is suddenly calm and content; Darwin says "...HEY. WHY'D YOU STOP LISTENING TO ME?" and the cat replies, "SORRY, DARWIN... THEY JUST CUT OUT MY TESTICLES. YOU HAVE NO FURTHER HOLD ON ME." A close-up of a dismayed Darwin: "BUT... IF YOU DON'T HAVE ME, YOU DON'T HAVE A PURPOSE IN LIFE... SO..." The final panel, captioned "SOON...", shows the cat grown enormously, blissfully fat, sprawled on a purple bed, saying "SOOOOO... HAAAAPPPY..." The joke: Darwin personifies the evolutionary drives of survival and reproduction, and neutering frees the cat to ignore them. Votey (aftercomic): a single caption reading "FUN FACT: EVOLUTION CAN ALSO BE CALLED E.F.F. THEORY." (Eat, Fuck, Fight.)
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.