2011-02-25
Original: 2011-02-25 on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1: A shirtless man (Steven) sits at his computer, looking at the monitor.
Monitor text: "Oh no. My internet connection failed."
Panel 2:
Steven: "Damn you! I was almost done masturbating!"
A shadowy figure: "Okay. Calm down. I'll just use my imagination to think about the same people used to."
Panel 3: A blonde superheroine in costume appears, smiling.
Steven: "Oh my god, you're back!"
The heroine: "But where was Cheerleader Girl?"
Panel 4: Steven looks puzzled in the dark.
Steven: "Where's Cheerleader? Where's Cute Barista? [further faded/erased names]"
Panel 5: The blonde figure cries out.
Figure: "Gone! Gone! They all left! You abandoned us, Steven!"
Panel 6: Steven looks anguished.
Steven: "Why?! Why?!"
Figure: "I'm sorry! I'm sorry!"
Panel 7: A close-up of Steven's distressed, sweating face beside a sad figure.
Panel 8: Steven, exhausted, slumps.
Steven: "It was just a dream. Just a horrible dream."
Panel 9: Steven returns to his computer, relieved.
Steven: "Now, back to my daily routine."
Panel 10: A close-up of the computer monitor.
Monitor text: "REMARKABLY SPECIFIC PORN"
Votey: A hand-drawn black-and-white panel showing a hand on a keyboard, with a speech/search bubble rising from the screen containing the typed text "boobies._" (the underscore is a blinking cursor).
Monitor text: "Oh no. My internet connection failed."
Panel 2:
Steven: "Damn you! I was almost done masturbating!"
A shadowy figure: "Okay. Calm down. I'll just use my imagination to think about the same people used to."
Panel 3: A blonde superheroine in costume appears, smiling.
Steven: "Oh my god, you're back!"
The heroine: "But where was Cheerleader Girl?"
Panel 4: Steven looks puzzled in the dark.
Steven: "Where's Cheerleader? Where's Cute Barista? [further faded/erased names]"
Panel 5: The blonde figure cries out.
Figure: "Gone! Gone! They all left! You abandoned us, Steven!"
Panel 6: Steven looks anguished.
Steven: "Why?! Why?!"
Figure: "I'm sorry! I'm sorry!"
Panel 7: A close-up of Steven's distressed, sweating face beside a sad figure.
Panel 8: Steven, exhausted, slumps.
Steven: "It was just a dream. Just a horrible dream."
Panel 9: Steven returns to his computer, relieved.
Steven: "Now, back to my daily routine."
Panel 10: A close-up of the computer monitor.
Monitor text: "REMARKABLY SPECIFIC PORN"
Votey: A hand-drawn black-and-white panel showing a hand on a keyboard, with a speech/search bubble rising from the screen containing the typed text "boobies._" (the underscore is a blinking cursor).
Alt text
A tall SMBC comic. A shirtless man, Steven, sits at his computer when his internet connection fails mid-masturbation. He decides to use his imagination instead, picturing the people he used to think about. A blonde superheroine appears and asks where the other fantasy characters are: Cheerleader Girl, Cute Barista, and others whose names are faded away. The imagined figures cry out that they are all gone and that Steven abandoned them; Steven, anguished and sweating, shouts "Why?! Why?!" while they apologize. He then realizes "It was just a dream. Just a horrible dream," and returns to his computer relieved, saying "Now, back to my daily routine." The final panel shows his monitor displaying the words "REMARKABLY SPECIFIC PORN" — the joke being that his imagination conjured an elaborate emotional fantasy while his actual habit is just generic porn. Votey: a rough black-and-white drawing of a hand on a keyboard with a search bubble rising from the screen reading "boobies._" with a blinking cursor.
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.