2010-12-19

A vertical SMBC comic parodying Hanukkah and Christmas as an action-movie showdown. Panel 1: Santa Claus, looking weary, says "Shalom." A blue-and-white helmeted superhero smoking a pipe is named "Chaptain Chanukah." Panel 2: Santa demands, "How did you get past my eight reindeer?!" as Captain Chanukah raises a menorah like a weapon, light glinting off it. Panel 3: Captain Chanukah asks, "You ever wonder why my menorah has eight branches?" Panel 4: Santa, eyes wide, screams "No! No! Noooo!" Panel 5: "But... you neglected to recall..." Captain Chanukah hefts the menorah as smoke rises. Panel 6: "The most famous reindeer... of all" -- equating the menorah's ninth candle to the most famous (ninth) reindeer, Rudolph. The next panels are a wordless, mostly-black action sequence with red streaks and a red glowing orb, implying a violent strike. A final red caption box reads: "The moral: Why do they only make holiday movies for children?" Votey: a handwritten note reading "Before you email me, the shamash is his cigar. <3 Zach" -- a preemptive correction that the menorah's extra candle (the shamash) is represented by Captain Chanukah's pipe.