2010-06-07
Original: 2010-06-07 on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1: Exterior of a building. A sign reads "SUNSET GARDENS ELDER CARE CENTER".
Panel 2: Inside, a balding man in a gray suit (a consultant) sits at a desk talking to an elderly woman.
Consultant: The reason you get no new enrollment here is that your tenants look like they're sitting around waiting for death.
Panel 3 (close on the consultant):
Consultant: We recommend a complete overhaul of facilities, staff, and workflow.
Panel 4 (close on the elderly woman, looking uneasy):
Elderly woman: Uh... well... we were hoping...
Panel 5 (the consultant grinning):
Consultant: Hahahaha! Just kidding we have a marketing solution.
Panel 6: Exterior of the same building. The "SUNSET GARDENS ELDER CARE CENTER" sign is now partly covered by a red banner that reads: "THIS WEEK ONLY! SITTING AROUND WAITING FOR DEATH WORLD CHAMPIONSHIP!"
Votey: A black-bordered drawing of the elderly woman wearing a banner or medallion marked "#1", looking distressed.
Panel 2: Inside, a balding man in a gray suit (a consultant) sits at a desk talking to an elderly woman.
Consultant: The reason you get no new enrollment here is that your tenants look like they're sitting around waiting for death.
Panel 3 (close on the consultant):
Consultant: We recommend a complete overhaul of facilities, staff, and workflow.
Panel 4 (close on the elderly woman, looking uneasy):
Elderly woman: Uh... well... we were hoping...
Panel 5 (the consultant grinning):
Consultant: Hahahaha! Just kidding we have a marketing solution.
Panel 6: Exterior of the same building. The "SUNSET GARDENS ELDER CARE CENTER" sign is now partly covered by a red banner that reads: "THIS WEEK ONLY! SITTING AROUND WAITING FOR DEATH WORLD CHAMPIONSHIP!"
Votey: A black-bordered drawing of the elderly woman wearing a banner or medallion marked "#1", looking distressed.
Alt text
A six-panel SMBC comic. Panel 1: the exterior sign of "Sunset Gardens Elder Care Center." Panel 2: a balding consultant in a gray suit sits at a desk telling an elderly woman, "The reason you get no new enrollment here is that your tenants look like they're sitting around waiting for death." Panel 3, close on him: "We recommend a complete overhaul of facilities, staff, and workflow." Panel 4, close on the worried woman: "Uh... well... we were hoping..." Panel 5, the consultant grinning: "Hahahaha! Just kidding we have a marketing solution." Panel 6: the same building exterior, now with a red banner slapped over the sign reading "THIS WEEK ONLY! SITTING AROUND WAITING FOR DEATH WORLD CHAMPIONSHIP!" The joke: instead of fixing the depressing facility, the consultant just rebrands the depressing behavior as a competition. Votey: a rough black-and-white drawing of the elderly woman wearing a "#1" medallion/banner, looking distressed at having "won."
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.