2009-10-23
Original: 2009-10-23 on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1:
Scientist (off-panel, speech bubble over a teleporter machine): Then the machine makes a duplicate of you in a far away location. So, it's basically like lightspeed travel.
Young man (off-panel): But... to avoid having two of me, doesn't one have to die?
Panel 2:
An older scientist in a white coat stands at a control console, holding a lever, speaking to the young red-haired man.
Scientist: After the transport, we figure out which one is more ambivalent about that problem and let him survive.
Panel 3:
Close-up of the scientist (wearing white goggles).
Scientist: Over time, small transmission errors accumulate, resulting in individuals who aren't interested in the problem at all.
Panel 4:
Close-up of the young red-haired man in a yellow shirt.
Young man: Aren't you worried you're evolving a race of sociopaths who care more about rapid transportation than human lives?
Panel 5:
The scientist faces the young man, gesturing.
Scientist: We prefer "engineers," sir.
Votey:
A bearded man speaks while a woman sits hunched at a computer with tired/half-closed eyes; small hearts float above the man's head, and a thought bubble from the woman reads "REFRESH! REFRESH!"
Man (narration/top): Since she started acting in videos, Kelly is as stat-addicted as I am...
Woman's thought: REFRESH! REFRESH!
Man (bottom caption): It's like secretly being a heroin addict, then finding out that your wife is one too.
Scientist (off-panel, speech bubble over a teleporter machine): Then the machine makes a duplicate of you in a far away location. So, it's basically like lightspeed travel.
Young man (off-panel): But... to avoid having two of me, doesn't one have to die?
Panel 2:
An older scientist in a white coat stands at a control console, holding a lever, speaking to the young red-haired man.
Scientist: After the transport, we figure out which one is more ambivalent about that problem and let him survive.
Panel 3:
Close-up of the scientist (wearing white goggles).
Scientist: Over time, small transmission errors accumulate, resulting in individuals who aren't interested in the problem at all.
Panel 4:
Close-up of the young red-haired man in a yellow shirt.
Young man: Aren't you worried you're evolving a race of sociopaths who care more about rapid transportation than human lives?
Panel 5:
The scientist faces the young man, gesturing.
Scientist: We prefer "engineers," sir.
Votey:
A bearded man speaks while a woman sits hunched at a computer with tired/half-closed eyes; small hearts float above the man's head, and a thought bubble from the woman reads "REFRESH! REFRESH!"
Man (narration/top): Since she started acting in videos, Kelly is as stat-addicted as I am...
Woman's thought: REFRESH! REFRESH!
Man (bottom caption): It's like secretly being a heroin addict, then finding out that your wife is one too.
Alt text
A five-panel SMBC comic, in color. Panel 1 shows a glowing teleporter machine; an unseen scientist explains, "Then the machine makes a duplicate of you in a far away location. So, it's basically like lightspeed travel," and an unseen man replies, "But... to avoid having two of me, doesn't one have to die?" Panel 2: an older scientist in a white coat at a control console tells a red-haired young man, "After the transport, we figure out which one is more ambivalent about that problem and let him survive." Panel 3, close-up of the goggled scientist: "Over time, small transmission errors accumulate, resulting in individuals who aren't interested in the problem at all." Panel 4, close-up of the worried young man: "Aren't you worried you're evolving a race of sociopaths who care more about rapid transportation than human lives?" Panel 5, the scientist replies dryly, "We prefer 'engineers,' sir." Votey (a separate black-and-white bonus panel): a bearded man with little hearts over his head says, "Since she started acting in videos, Kelly is as stat-addicted as I am..." while a bleary-eyed woman hunches over a computer, her thought bubble reading "REFRESH! REFRESH!" Bottom caption: "It's like secretly being a heroin addict, then finding out that your wife is one too."
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.