2009-06-20
Original: 2009-06-20 on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Setting: A single panel. A woman with reddish hair, seen from behind, holds a red apple. She faces a glowing yellow sun/orb (with radiating triangular rays) representing God.
God (from the sun): FROM NOW ON, YOU WILL HAVE PAIN IN CHILDBIRTH!
Woman: SO... NOW WHEN A BABY SPENDS HOURS WORKING ITS WAY OUT OF MY VAGINA, IT'LL HURT?
God: WELL, I-
Woman: HOW ABOUT YOU MAKE THE OCEAN BLUE OR THE SUN BRIGHT?
God: HEY, COME ON! STOP IT!
Caption (below panel): 4,004 BC:
For the first time, God cries.
Votey:
The sun/orb (God) is shown alone against a white background.
Woman (off-panel / caption text): YOU GUYS ARE DICKS.
God (from the sun): FROM NOW ON, YOU WILL HAVE PAIN IN CHILDBIRTH!
Woman: SO... NOW WHEN A BABY SPENDS HOURS WORKING ITS WAY OUT OF MY VAGINA, IT'LL HURT?
God: WELL, I-
Woman: HOW ABOUT YOU MAKE THE OCEAN BLUE OR THE SUN BRIGHT?
God: HEY, COME ON! STOP IT!
Caption (below panel): 4,004 BC:
For the first time, God cries.
Votey:
The sun/orb (God) is shown alone against a white background.
Woman (off-panel / caption text): YOU GUYS ARE DICKS.
Alt text
Single-panel comic. A woman with reddish hair, seen from behind holding a red apple, stands before a glowing yellow sun with radiating triangular rays that represents God. God declares, "FROM NOW ON, YOU WILL HAVE PAIN IN CHILDBIRTH!" The woman, unimpressed, retorts, "SO... NOW WHEN A BABY SPENDS HOURS WORKING ITS WAY OUT OF MY VAGINA, IT'LL HURT?" God starts, "WELL, I-" but she cuts in mockingly, "HOW ABOUT YOU MAKE THE OCEAN BLUE OR THE SUN BRIGHT?" God pleads, "HEY, COME ON! STOP IT!" A caption below reads: "4,004 BC: For the first time, God cries." In the votey aftercomic, the sun-God floats alone on a white background as a voice tells it, "YOU GUYS ARE DICKS."
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.