capital
Original: capital on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Setting: A man stands at a podium at the edge of a vast cliff, with golden light spilling up from the chasm below (an entrance to the afterlife). A smaller man in a suit stands on a snowy ledge addressing him.
Man at podium (the trader being questioned): "So you're saying that your algorithm leads to more accurate pricing, which leads to more efficient allocation of capital, increasing gross domestic product, which is somewhat correlated with decreases in the infant mortality rate."
Man in suit: "It's more nuanced! See page 52, section C-5."
Man at podium: "Sorry, could you explain it again from the beginning?"
Caption (below the panel): "Of course, all the high speed traders go to Hell. St. Peter just likes to toy with them for a while."
Votey:
A close-up of a smiling, bearded face.
Speech bubble: "In hell, everyone is equal."
Man at podium (the trader being questioned): "So you're saying that your algorithm leads to more accurate pricing, which leads to more efficient allocation of capital, increasing gross domestic product, which is somewhat correlated with decreases in the infant mortality rate."
Man in suit: "It's more nuanced! See page 52, section C-5."
Man at podium: "Sorry, could you explain it again from the beginning?"
Caption (below the panel): "Of course, all the high speed traders go to Hell. St. Peter just likes to toy with them for a while."
Votey:
A close-up of a smiling, bearded face.
Speech bubble: "In hell, everyone is equal."
Alt text
A single-panel comic. A bearded man stands at a podium positioned right at the edge of an enormous cliff that drops into a glowing golden chasm (an afterlife setting). A small man in a business suit stands on a snowy ledge facing him. The podium man, in a long speech bubble, summarizes the suited man's argument: "So you're saying that your algorithm leads to more accurate pricing, which leads to more efficient allocation of capital, increasing gross domestic product, which is somewhat correlated with decreases in the infant mortality rate." The suited man insists, "It's more nuanced! See page 52, section C-5." The podium man replies, "Sorry, could you explain it again from the beginning?" A caption beneath reads: "Of course, all the high speed traders go to Hell. St. Peter just likes to toy with them for a while." The joke: a high-frequency trader is condemned to Hell, where his eternal torment is being forced to endlessly re-justify the moral worth of his job. The votey shows a close-up of a grinning bearded face (St. Peter) saying, "In hell, everyone is equal" — a pointed jab at the trader's faith in market efficiency.
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.