latte
Original: latte on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1:
Angry female customer: THIS COFFEE IS HOT AND COVERED IN FOAM. I WANT TO SPEAK TO YOUR MANAGER!
Panel 2:
Angry customer: RIGHT NOW!
Barista (offscreen/behind): MA-AM-
Manager: YES MA'AM.
Panel 3:
Manager: HOW MAY I HELP YOU, MA'AM?
Angry customer: YOUR BARISTA HERE THINKS THIS IS A LATTE AND SHE'S RIGHT IT IS AN EXCELLENT ONE!
Panel 4:
Angry customer (gesturing at a line of customers): YOU CALL THAT FAST COURTEOUS SERVICE? IF SO YOU'VE MADE AN ACCURATE STATEMENT!
Panel 5:
Angry customer: I AM WELL-KNOWN IN THIS COMMUNITY AND IF YOU KEEP THIS UP YOU'RE GONNA HAVE MORE CUSTOMERS THAN YOU CAN HANDLE DO YOU HEAR ME?
Panel 6:
A man with a mustache: WHO... WHO IS SHE?
Panel 7 (narration over the man with the mustache holding a coffee cup): NO ONE KNOWS, BUT THEY SAY SHE IS RESTORING BALANCE TO THE WORLD OF CUSTOMER SERVICE.
Panel 8:
Angry customer (small, in the distance): THIS COFFEE TASTES LIKE NOBODY EVEN THOUGHT ABOUT IT TILL TWO SECONDS AGO! VERY FRESH! WHAT DO YOU TAKE ME FOR? SOMEONE WHO APPRECIATES GOOD COFFEE? WELL YOU'RE RIGHT!
Votey:
The angry woman: I must undo what covid hath wrought.
Angry female customer: THIS COFFEE IS HOT AND COVERED IN FOAM. I WANT TO SPEAK TO YOUR MANAGER!
Panel 2:
Angry customer: RIGHT NOW!
Barista (offscreen/behind): MA-AM-
Manager: YES MA'AM.
Panel 3:
Manager: HOW MAY I HELP YOU, MA'AM?
Angry customer: YOUR BARISTA HERE THINKS THIS IS A LATTE AND SHE'S RIGHT IT IS AN EXCELLENT ONE!
Panel 4:
Angry customer (gesturing at a line of customers): YOU CALL THAT FAST COURTEOUS SERVICE? IF SO YOU'VE MADE AN ACCURATE STATEMENT!
Panel 5:
Angry customer: I AM WELL-KNOWN IN THIS COMMUNITY AND IF YOU KEEP THIS UP YOU'RE GONNA HAVE MORE CUSTOMERS THAN YOU CAN HANDLE DO YOU HEAR ME?
Panel 6:
A man with a mustache: WHO... WHO IS SHE?
Panel 7 (narration over the man with the mustache holding a coffee cup): NO ONE KNOWS, BUT THEY SAY SHE IS RESTORING BALANCE TO THE WORLD OF CUSTOMER SERVICE.
Panel 8:
Angry customer (small, in the distance): THIS COFFEE TASTES LIKE NOBODY EVEN THOUGHT ABOUT IT TILL TWO SECONDS AGO! VERY FRESH! WHAT DO YOU TAKE ME FOR? SOMEONE WHO APPRECIATES GOOD COFFEE? WELL YOU'RE RIGHT!
Votey:
The angry woman: I must undo what covid hath wrought.
Alt text
An eight-panel comic. An angry blonde woman is yelling complaints at a coffee shop barista and manager, but every complaint is accidentally a compliment. She shouts that the coffee is hot and covered in foam and demands to see the manager. When the manager asks how she can help, the woman snaps that the barista thinks it's a latte 'and she's right, it is an excellent one!' Gesturing at a line of customers, she demands 'You call that fast courteous service? If so you've made an accurate statement!' She warns that if they keep this up they'll have more customers than they can handle. A mustachioed man holding a coffee asks 'Who... who is she?' A narration caption reads: 'No one knows, but they say she is restoring balance to the world of customer service.' In the final panel she, now tiny in the distance, rages that the coffee tastes like nobody thought about it till two seconds ago, 'Very fresh! What do you take me for? Someone who appreciates good coffee? Well you're right!' Votey (bonus panel): a hand-drawn close-up of the same woman's determined face with a speech bubble reading 'I must undo what covid hath wrought.'
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.