cult
Original: cult on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1:
Doctor (in lab coat, pointing at a screen): Oh neat, you could be the next big spiritual leader.
Man (with reddish-brown hair, green shirt): Hm?
Panel 2:
Doctor: I've got a complete brain scan and you're just naturally low on desire, while high on willpower, compassion, and verbal ability.
Panel 3:
Doctor: People will try to imitate your sense of contented wholeness but always fall short, never realizing that the ultimate fount of all your inner peace was a quirk of genetics operating in a stochastic environment!
Panel 4:
Doctor: Hoping vainly for what you gained unearned, they will become your disciples and message-bearers.
Panel 5:
Doctor: After you die, supernatural deeds will be attached to your story. Lifetimes will be sacrificed to your words! Men will kill for your symbols! Empires will be consecrated to your name!
Panel 6:
Man (calm, eyes closed): Hey, what will be is what is.
Man: Do you have a newsletter I could hand out on the street, master?
Caption (bottom): This bonus comic brought to you by backers of our new kickstarter for "The Universe: Abridged Beyond The Point Of Usefulness." Click for info!
smbc-comics.com
Votey:
Handwritten text inside a hand-drawn frame: For real, thank you. Zach
Doctor (in lab coat, pointing at a screen): Oh neat, you could be the next big spiritual leader.
Man (with reddish-brown hair, green shirt): Hm?
Panel 2:
Doctor: I've got a complete brain scan and you're just naturally low on desire, while high on willpower, compassion, and verbal ability.
Panel 3:
Doctor: People will try to imitate your sense of contented wholeness but always fall short, never realizing that the ultimate fount of all your inner peace was a quirk of genetics operating in a stochastic environment!
Panel 4:
Doctor: Hoping vainly for what you gained unearned, they will become your disciples and message-bearers.
Panel 5:
Doctor: After you die, supernatural deeds will be attached to your story. Lifetimes will be sacrificed to your words! Men will kill for your symbols! Empires will be consecrated to your name!
Panel 6:
Man (calm, eyes closed): Hey, what will be is what is.
Man: Do you have a newsletter I could hand out on the street, master?
Caption (bottom): This bonus comic brought to you by backers of our new kickstarter for "The Universe: Abridged Beyond The Point Of Usefulness." Click for info!
smbc-comics.com
Votey:
Handwritten text inside a hand-drawn frame: For real, thank you. Zach
Alt text
A six-panel SMBC comic. A doctor in a lab coat shows a man (reddish-brown hair, green shirt) results from a brain scan, telling him he could be the next big spiritual leader because he's naturally low on desire but high on willpower, compassion, and verbal ability. The doctor grows increasingly intense and wild-eyed across the panels, describing how followers will imitate the man's contented wholeness without realizing it was just a genetic quirk, become his disciples, and after his death attach supernatural deeds to his story, sacrifice lifetimes to his words, kill for his symbols, and consecrate empires to his name. In the final panel the man, eyes serenely closed, simply replies "Hey, what will be is what is," then asks the doctor, "Do you have a newsletter I could hand out on the street, master?" A caption notes the bonus comic was funded by Kickstarter backers of "The Universe: Abridged Beyond The Point Of Usefulness." The votey (aftercomic) is just handwritten text in a hand-drawn frame reading "For real, thank you. Zach" — the cartoonist thanking his backers.
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.