ifo
Original: ifo on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1:
A businessman stands beside a presentation chart titled "Melon Sales" that shows a line plummeting downward. He gestures at it.
Presenter: MELON SALES ARE FALLING. NOBODY WANTS TO PAY THE PRICES WE USED TO GET.
First colleague (off-panel, speech bubble): I THINK WE CAN ACHIEVE MORE
Second colleague (off-panel, speech bubble): I THINK YOU'RE ON
Panel 2:
A woman in a red blazer and a man in a dark suit sit at a table; the presenter stands at right.
First colleague (continuing): EFFICIENT PRODUCTION BY-
Second colleague (continuing): TO SOMETHING JENKINS.
Woman in red blazer: WHAT IF WE CHANGED THE NAME TO TAKE MONEY FROM THE STUPID RICH?
Panel 3 (caption banner): SUBSEQUENTLY...
Newspaper headline: FARMCo ANNOUNCES "INITIAL FRUIT OFFERING"
Panel 4 (caption banner): AND THEN...
Newspaper headline: FARMCo IFO OVERSUBSCRIBED THREE TIMES
Subhead: Seen as good investment by someone who heard it was a good investment from someone else who heard it from someone else in infinite regress toward probably something of value
Panel 5 (caption banner): FROM WHICH IT FOLLOWED.
Newspaper headline: "Melonaires" Seen Cashing Out, Moving to private Archipelagos
Subhead: Seen laughing until Crying while massaged by various nude individuals
Panel 6 (caption banner): AND INEVITABLY...
Newspaper headline: MELON CRASH
Story: Investors stunned melon is type of fruit they were supposed to eat
Second column: Fruit now degraded into lake of noxious jelly-like fluid
Boxed item: INTERNET PEOPLE: "WE WILL HOLD FOREVER!"
Votey:
A single panel: a smiling melon (with cartoon eyes) sits beneath a large speech bubble.
Melon: BY GOD I WILL HOLD NO MATTER WHAT UNTIL AN INVESTOR FIGURES OUT WHAT I'M DOING AND TAKES ALL MY MONEY!
A businessman stands beside a presentation chart titled "Melon Sales" that shows a line plummeting downward. He gestures at it.
Presenter: MELON SALES ARE FALLING. NOBODY WANTS TO PAY THE PRICES WE USED TO GET.
First colleague (off-panel, speech bubble): I THINK WE CAN ACHIEVE MORE
Second colleague (off-panel, speech bubble): I THINK YOU'RE ON
Panel 2:
A woman in a red blazer and a man in a dark suit sit at a table; the presenter stands at right.
First colleague (continuing): EFFICIENT PRODUCTION BY-
Second colleague (continuing): TO SOMETHING JENKINS.
Woman in red blazer: WHAT IF WE CHANGED THE NAME TO TAKE MONEY FROM THE STUPID RICH?
Panel 3 (caption banner): SUBSEQUENTLY...
Newspaper headline: FARMCo ANNOUNCES "INITIAL FRUIT OFFERING"
Panel 4 (caption banner): AND THEN...
Newspaper headline: FARMCo IFO OVERSUBSCRIBED THREE TIMES
Subhead: Seen as good investment by someone who heard it was a good investment from someone else who heard it from someone else in infinite regress toward probably something of value
Panel 5 (caption banner): FROM WHICH IT FOLLOWED.
Newspaper headline: "Melonaires" Seen Cashing Out, Moving to private Archipelagos
Subhead: Seen laughing until Crying while massaged by various nude individuals
Panel 6 (caption banner): AND INEVITABLY...
Newspaper headline: MELON CRASH
Story: Investors stunned melon is type of fruit they were supposed to eat
Second column: Fruit now degraded into lake of noxious jelly-like fluid
Boxed item: INTERNET PEOPLE: "WE WILL HOLD FOREVER!"
Votey:
A single panel: a smiling melon (with cartoon eyes) sits beneath a large speech bubble.
Melon: BY GOD I WILL HOLD NO MATTER WHAT UNTIL AN INVESTOR FIGURES OUT WHAT I'M DOING AND TAKES ALL MY MONEY!
Alt text
A six-panel SMBC comic satirizing speculative investment bubbles, drawn as a melon-market parody of crypto/IPO mania. Panel 1: A businessman presents a chart titled "Melon Sales" with a line crashing downward; he says melon sales are falling because nobody will pay the old prices, while colleagues begin suggesting improvements. Panel 2: A woman in a red blazer interrupts: "What if we changed the name to take money from the stupid rich?" The remaining panels are mock newspaper front pages with caption banners between them. "Subsequently": FARMCo announces an "Initial Fruit Offering." "And then": the IFO is oversubscribed three times, bought by people who heard it was a good investment from people who heard it from others "in infinite regress toward probably something of value." "From which it followed": "Melonaires" cash out and move to private archipelagos, laughing until crying while massaged by nude individuals. "And inevitably": MELON CRASH, with investors stunned to learn melon is a fruit they were supposed to eat, the fruit now rotted into noxious jelly, and a sidebar quoting "Internet people: 'WE WILL HOLD FOREVER!'" Votey: a cartoon melon with eyes declares in a giant speech bubble, "By God I will hold no matter what until an investor figures out what I'm doing and takes all my money!"
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.