story
Original: story on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1:
Narration: Wise master to their single human story that we evaluate in all of our myths?
Robed figure (master): Yes, my son, but it is a shitty story.
Panel 2:
Master: Here it is: things weren't one way, then they were another. The end.
Young man: It's not very good, not for humans. Humans can't feel the story working, the details are filled in.
Panel 3:
Master: So maybe you have an object that was taken and gotten back. You have a person who was kidnapped, then recovered.
Master: Now the human can both inhabit and remember it. Therefore he is moved by it.
Young man: Can you describe somebody who has the emblems on a sword or the color of the oceans?
Panel 4:
Master: This is why all those weird Jungian people write such shitty stories. They are approaching closely to the ultimate myth, and the ultimate myth is absolute bullshit.
Young man: Ah!
Panel 5:
Young man: How would you write a better story?
Master: Guns and titties. My God, guns and titties.
Votey:
Master: All of them exploding all the time.
(A line drawing depicts an explosive/anatomical shape suggesting the "guns and titties" punchline.)
Narration: Wise master to their single human story that we evaluate in all of our myths?
Robed figure (master): Yes, my son, but it is a shitty story.
Panel 2:
Master: Here it is: things weren't one way, then they were another. The end.
Young man: It's not very good, not for humans. Humans can't feel the story working, the details are filled in.
Panel 3:
Master: So maybe you have an object that was taken and gotten back. You have a person who was kidnapped, then recovered.
Master: Now the human can both inhabit and remember it. Therefore he is moved by it.
Young man: Can you describe somebody who has the emblems on a sword or the color of the oceans?
Panel 4:
Master: This is why all those weird Jungian people write such shitty stories. They are approaching closely to the ultimate myth, and the ultimate myth is absolute bullshit.
Young man: Ah!
Panel 5:
Young man: How would you write a better story?
Master: Guns and titties. My God, guns and titties.
Votey:
Master: All of them exploding all the time.
(A line drawing depicts an explosive/anatomical shape suggesting the "guns and titties" punchline.)
Alt text
A five-panel SMBC comic set on a dark mountaintop at night. A robed bearded master and a younger man have a philosophical conversation about storytelling. The young man asks about the single human story underlying all myths; the master replies it exists but is a shitty story: 'things weren't one way, then they were another. The end.' He argues humans can't feel that story because the details aren't filled in, so you add a kidnapped person recovered, an object lost and regained, so the human can inhabit and remember it and be moved. The master then says this is why Jungian writers tell such shitty stories: they approach the ultimate myth, which is absolute bullshit. In the final panel the young man asks how the master would write a better story, and the master proclaims, 'Guns and titties. My God, guns and titties.' Votey: a panel with the master adding 'All of them exploding all the time,' beside a crude black-and-white line drawing of an exploding, vaguely anatomical shape.
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.