transcendence-2
Original: transcendence-2 on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1:
Man (praying, eyes closed, hands clasped): Dear God I want transcendence.
Panel 2:
Man (praying): Not just any transcendence. I want a moment so transcendent it makes everyone else's transcendent moments look like shit.
Panel 3 (man stands small in a vast dark void):
Voice of God (caption box): No can do. The most transcendent moment in this entire timeline already occurred on May 6, 1684 for a pious widow named Mary Graham, in a church in East Anglia, about three-quarters of the way through services.
Panel 4 (man alone in the dark void):
Voice of God (caption box): Nobody knows about her down there, but she's got the high score and honestly kinda lords it over everyone up here.
Panel 5:
Caption: LATER, IN THE AFTERLIFE...
A nun-like figure with a halo and wings (arms crossed) to a winged man with a halo: I hear you had a total of 14 very moving sunsets. Lovely. How lovely and nice, you cute thing.
Winged man (the same flame-haired man, now dead): God I hate it here.
Votey:
The nun-like winged figure (in a speech bubble): This is hell, dear.
Man (praying, eyes closed, hands clasped): Dear God I want transcendence.
Panel 2:
Man (praying): Not just any transcendence. I want a moment so transcendent it makes everyone else's transcendent moments look like shit.
Panel 3 (man stands small in a vast dark void):
Voice of God (caption box): No can do. The most transcendent moment in this entire timeline already occurred on May 6, 1684 for a pious widow named Mary Graham, in a church in East Anglia, about three-quarters of the way through services.
Panel 4 (man alone in the dark void):
Voice of God (caption box): Nobody knows about her down there, but she's got the high score and honestly kinda lords it over everyone up here.
Panel 5:
Caption: LATER, IN THE AFTERLIFE...
A nun-like figure with a halo and wings (arms crossed) to a winged man with a halo: I hear you had a total of 14 very moving sunsets. Lovely. How lovely and nice, you cute thing.
Winged man (the same flame-haired man, now dead): God I hate it here.
Votey:
The nun-like winged figure (in a speech bubble): This is hell, dear.
Alt text
A five-panel SMBC comic. In the first two panels, a flame-haired man prays with eyes closed and hands clasped, saying "Dear God I want transcendence. Not just any transcendence. I want a moment so transcendent it makes everyone else's transcendent moments look like shit." In the third and fourth panels he stands tiny and alone in a vast black void as God's voice (in caption boxes) replies: the most transcendent moment in this timeline already happened on May 6, 1684 to a pious widow named Mary Graham in a church in East Anglia, three-quarters through services; nobody down on Earth knows about her, but she holds the high score and lords it over everyone in the afterlife. The final panel, captioned "Later, in the afterlife," shows the man as a winged, haloed soul in the clouds being condescended to by another winged, haloed figure (a smug nun-like woman with arms crossed) who says "I hear you had a total of 14 very moving sunsets. Lovely. How lovely and nice, you cute thing." The man replies flatly, "God I hate it here." Votey: a close-up of the smug winged woman saying in a speech bubble, "This is hell, dear."
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.