email-2
Original: email-2 on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1:
Younger man (slumped): UGH. UGH.
Older man (his father): WHAT IS IT, SON?
Panel 2:
Younger man: I JUST HAD A MEETING THAT COULD'VE BEEN AN EMAIL.
Panel 3:
Older man: LIFE IS A MEETING THAT COULD'VE BEEN AN EMAIL.
Panel 4:
Older man: ROBERT CARO WROTE A BIOGRAPHY OF LYNDON JOHNSON IN MULTIPLE GIANT VOLUMES, WHICH REQUIRED HIS ENTIRE LIFE TO RESEARCH. BUT YOU CAN READ THEM IN A MONTH.
Panel 5:
Older man: AND THAT'S FOR A PRESIDENT WHO CHANGED THE WORLD, PROSECUTED WARS, LED MULTIPLE AFFAIRS, AND SO ON. IMAGINE WHAT YOU OR I WOULD WARRANT!
Panel 6:
Older man: ONE DAY THE WHOLE SEA OF YOUR LIFE WILL BE DECANTED INTO A COLUMN ABOUT THE LENGTH OF AN EMAIL, AND IF YOU WERE ALIVE YOU WOULD WISH THAT SOMEONE HAD TURNED IT INTO A MULTI-HOUR MEETING ON THE TOPIC OF YOU.
Panel 7:
Younger man: YOU TURNED MY WORKPLACE ANNOYANCE INTO A FULL-BLOWN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS.
Panel 8:
Older man: A REAL EXISTENTIALIST WOULD TURN THAT THOUGHT INTO A WHOLE BOOK.
Votey:
Older man (continuing): OR AT LEAST A COMIC.
Younger man (slumped): UGH. UGH.
Older man (his father): WHAT IS IT, SON?
Panel 2:
Younger man: I JUST HAD A MEETING THAT COULD'VE BEEN AN EMAIL.
Panel 3:
Older man: LIFE IS A MEETING THAT COULD'VE BEEN AN EMAIL.
Panel 4:
Older man: ROBERT CARO WROTE A BIOGRAPHY OF LYNDON JOHNSON IN MULTIPLE GIANT VOLUMES, WHICH REQUIRED HIS ENTIRE LIFE TO RESEARCH. BUT YOU CAN READ THEM IN A MONTH.
Panel 5:
Older man: AND THAT'S FOR A PRESIDENT WHO CHANGED THE WORLD, PROSECUTED WARS, LED MULTIPLE AFFAIRS, AND SO ON. IMAGINE WHAT YOU OR I WOULD WARRANT!
Panel 6:
Older man: ONE DAY THE WHOLE SEA OF YOUR LIFE WILL BE DECANTED INTO A COLUMN ABOUT THE LENGTH OF AN EMAIL, AND IF YOU WERE ALIVE YOU WOULD WISH THAT SOMEONE HAD TURNED IT INTO A MULTI-HOUR MEETING ON THE TOPIC OF YOU.
Panel 7:
Younger man: YOU TURNED MY WORKPLACE ANNOYANCE INTO A FULL-BLOWN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS.
Panel 8:
Older man: A REAL EXISTENTIALIST WOULD TURN THAT THOUGHT INTO A WHOLE BOOK.
Votey:
Older man (continuing): OR AT LEAST A COMIC.
Alt text
A multi-panel comic. A young man slumps at a table, groaning "Ugh. Ugh." His older father asks what's wrong; the son says he just had a meeting that could've been an email. The father replies that life itself is a meeting that could've been an email, then launches into a monologue: Robert Caro spent his entire life researching a multi-volume biography of Lyndon Johnson, yet you can read it in a month. And that's for a world-changing president who prosecuted wars and led affairs, so imagine what an ordinary person would warrant. One day, he says, the whole sea of your life will be decanted into a column about the length of an email, and if you were alive you'd wish someone had turned it into a multi-hour meeting about you instead. The son, now drawn in distress, says "You turned my workplace annoyance into a full-blown existential crisis." The father answers, "A real existentialist would turn that thought into a whole book." Votey (aftercomic): in the same conversation, the father adds, "Or at least a comic."
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.