limitless
Original: limitless on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1:
Woman (arms raised, in red): There's no reason to believe God performs miracles.
Priest: Ah, but by definition miracles cannot be tested, only ATTESTED, because they happened just once.
Panel 2:
Woman: Exactly! If God performed a miracle to make his presence felt, he should have performed it regularly at precise intervals!
Priest: But if he did that, it wouldn't be miraculous. It would simply be a known law of nature.
Small caption: HARDASS
Panel 3:
Woman: This is a simple optimization problem. Each new performance makes the action less miraculous but more believable. There is some number of repetitions that maximizes the product of miraculousness and believability, and it is obviously higher than 1!
Priest (small speech bubble): Wrong
Panel 4:
Woman (shouting): Either your miracles are lies or God can't do differential calculus!
Panel 5:
The priest stands silent, expressionless.
LATER...
Panel 6:
Priest (praying): Lord, what is the derivative of x^x ln x / √x − i?
God (large bubble): Dammit man, this is precisely why I made the universe discrete.
Votey:
Text (in a TV/screen-like frame): I mean honestly when would I ever use that in real life?
Woman (arms raised, in red): There's no reason to believe God performs miracles.
Priest: Ah, but by definition miracles cannot be tested, only ATTESTED, because they happened just once.
Panel 2:
Woman: Exactly! If God performed a miracle to make his presence felt, he should have performed it regularly at precise intervals!
Priest: But if he did that, it wouldn't be miraculous. It would simply be a known law of nature.
Small caption: HARDASS
Panel 3:
Woman: This is a simple optimization problem. Each new performance makes the action less miraculous but more believable. There is some number of repetitions that maximizes the product of miraculousness and believability, and it is obviously higher than 1!
Priest (small speech bubble): Wrong
Panel 4:
Woman (shouting): Either your miracles are lies or God can't do differential calculus!
Panel 5:
The priest stands silent, expressionless.
LATER...
Panel 6:
Priest (praying): Lord, what is the derivative of x^x ln x / √x − i?
God (large bubble): Dammit man, this is precisely why I made the universe discrete.
Votey:
Text (in a TV/screen-like frame): I mean honestly when would I ever use that in real life?
Alt text
A six-panel SMBC comic. A woman in red and a balding priest argue about miracles. Panel 1: She says there's no reason to believe God performs miracles; he replies that miracles can't be tested, only attested, because they happen only once. Panel 2: She argues God should perform miracles regularly at precise intervals; he counters that then it wouldn't be miraculous, just a known law of nature (captioned 'HARDASS'). Panel 3: She frames it as an optimization problem maximizing the product of miraculousness and believability, claiming the optimum is higher than 1 repetition; he simply replies 'Wrong.' Panel 4: She shouts, 'Either your miracles are lies or God can't do differential calculus!' Panel 5: The priest stands silent and expressionless. 'LATER...' Panel 6: The priest prays, 'Lord, what is the derivative of x^x ln x / √x − i?' and God's voice booms back, 'Dammit man, this is precisely why I made the universe discrete.' Votey: a TV-screen-shaped panel containing only the text, 'I mean honestly when would I ever use that in real life?'
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.