investor
Original: investor on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Title caption (top): IDEA: LOCK 20 INVESTORS IN A SEALED CONTAINER IN ORDER TO CREATE MORE INTERESTING FINANCIAL HEADLINES.
The comic shows a man on the phone, with a vertical stack of six financial-news headline captions descending alongside him:
Headline 1: Stock market wobbles as investors concerned about near future
Headline 2: Stock market up as investors check room for exits
Headline 3: Stock market wavers as investors' air grows stale, carbonic
Headline 4: Stock market sharply up as investors realize half as many living will survive twice as long
Headline 5: Stock market wavers as last investor exits only to find self in new room with 19 other survivors
Headline 6: Stock market down on investor worries
Votey:
Stock markets soar as investors invoke custom of sea.
The comic shows a man on the phone, with a vertical stack of six financial-news headline captions descending alongside him:
Headline 1: Stock market wobbles as investors concerned about near future
Headline 2: Stock market up as investors check room for exits
Headline 3: Stock market wavers as investors' air grows stale, carbonic
Headline 4: Stock market sharply up as investors realize half as many living will survive twice as long
Headline 5: Stock market wavers as last investor exits only to find self in new room with 19 other survivors
Headline 6: Stock market down on investor worries
Votey:
Stock markets soar as investors invoke custom of sea.
Alt text
A single tall panel. A top caption reads: "IDEA: LOCK 20 INVESTORS IN A SEALED CONTAINER IN ORDER TO CREATE MORE INTERESTING FINANCIAL HEADLINES." On the left, a balding man wearing glasses holds a smartphone to his ear, looking concerned. Down the right side runs a stack of six mock financial-news headlines tracking the trapped investors' worsening situation: "Stock market wobbles as investors concerned about near future"; "Stock market up as investors check room for exits"; "Stock market wavers as investors' air grows stale, carbonic"; "Stock market sharply up as investors realize half as many living will survive twice as long"; "Stock market wavers as last investor exits only to find self in new room with 19 other survivors"; and finally "Stock market down on investor worries." The joke escalates a deadly sealed-container scenario through bland market-headline jargon. Votey (a small bonus panel): just one more headline in hand-lettered text reading "Stock markets soar as investors invoke custom of sea" -- implying the trapped investors have turned to cannibalism.
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.