origins
Original: origins on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1 (main):
Mock-academic text at the top of the panel:
"...which requires the species to possess three separate evolved capacities: awareness of oneself as a moral actor, awareness of other beings as similarly endowed, and awareness that there exist understandings between beings about the appropriate range of actions."
A pseudo-mathematical formula floats beside the speaker:
D_i = a_o * I_n
The speaker is a bearded, balding man with glasses (a professor figure), gesturing with one hand as he lectures.
Caption below the panel:
"Scientists now believe that the first 'absolute dick move' evolved approximately 541 million years ago."
Votey:
Speech bubble (continuing the professor's lecture):
"BASTARDRY, OF COURSE, WAS IMPOSSIBLE UNTIL THE EVOLUTION OF MONOGAMY."
The panel shows the top of the professor's bald head and eyes peeking up from the bottom edge, looking upward.
Mock-academic text at the top of the panel:
"...which requires the species to possess three separate evolved capacities: awareness of oneself as a moral actor, awareness of other beings as similarly endowed, and awareness that there exist understandings between beings about the appropriate range of actions."
A pseudo-mathematical formula floats beside the speaker:
D_i = a_o * I_n
The speaker is a bearded, balding man with glasses (a professor figure), gesturing with one hand as he lectures.
Caption below the panel:
"Scientists now believe that the first 'absolute dick move' evolved approximately 541 million years ago."
Votey:
Speech bubble (continuing the professor's lecture):
"BASTARDRY, OF COURSE, WAS IMPOSSIBLE UNTIL THE EVOLUTION OF MONOGAMY."
The panel shows the top of the professor's bald head and eyes peeking up from the bottom edge, looking upward.
Alt text
A mock-scientific SMBC comic. The main panel shows a bearded, balding professor in glasses gesturing as he lectures. Above him is a dense paragraph of pseudo-academic text explaining that some capacity 'requires the species to possess three separate evolved capacities: awareness of oneself as a moral actor, awareness of other beings as similarly endowed, and awareness that there exist understandings between beings about the appropriate range of actions,' with a fake equation (D = a x I) floating beside him. The caption beneath reads: 'Scientists now believe that the first "absolute dick move" evolved approximately 541 million years ago.' The joke treats being a jerk as a sophisticated evolutionary milestone with a precise date. In the votey aftercomic, only the top of the professor's bald head and his eyes are visible at the bottom of the panel as he adds, deadpan: 'Bastardry, of course, was impossible until the evolution of monogamy.'
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.