expansion
Original: expansion on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1: A man with orange hair in a suit speaks. Beside him stands a woman with dark hair in an orange shirt.
Man: A lot of people want to settle Mars, to make humanity multiplanetary, preserving the species forever.
Panel 2: The man, shown in profile.
Man: We should not underestimate the risk entailed in such an endeavor.
Panel 3: The man continues.
Man: If humanity expands, to the inner planets, the asteroids, the outer planets, the stars... everything you wrote on social media as a 14 year old will live on forever.
Panel 4: The man continues.
Man: If we confine ourselves to this one planet, eventually the sun will engulf the earth, randomizing all computer memory, eternally effacing your teenage opinions on gender from reality.
Panel 5: The man looks worried/wide-eyed. The woman raises a hand.
Man: What if some of those things are transmitted out into the cosmos at light speed.
Panel 6: The man, eyes closed, calm.
Man: Then we can only hope this is a lifeless universe.
Votey: A flying saucer (UFO) hovers in the sky above a craggy mountain ridge.
Voice from the saucer: Nevermind. Let us avoid this dipshit planet.
Man: A lot of people want to settle Mars, to make humanity multiplanetary, preserving the species forever.
Panel 2: The man, shown in profile.
Man: We should not underestimate the risk entailed in such an endeavor.
Panel 3: The man continues.
Man: If humanity expands, to the inner planets, the asteroids, the outer planets, the stars... everything you wrote on social media as a 14 year old will live on forever.
Panel 4: The man continues.
Man: If we confine ourselves to this one planet, eventually the sun will engulf the earth, randomizing all computer memory, eternally effacing your teenage opinions on gender from reality.
Panel 5: The man looks worried/wide-eyed. The woman raises a hand.
Man: What if some of those things are transmitted out into the cosmos at light speed.
Panel 6: The man, eyes closed, calm.
Man: Then we can only hope this is a lifeless universe.
Votey: A flying saucer (UFO) hovers in the sky above a craggy mountain ridge.
Voice from the saucer: Nevermind. Let us avoid this dipshit planet.
Alt text
A six-panel SMBC comic. A man with orange hair in a dark suit talks earnestly, with a woman in an orange shirt standing beside him. He argues that a lot of people want to settle Mars to make humanity multiplanetary and preserve the species forever, but warns we shouldn't underestimate the risk: if humanity expands to the inner planets, asteroids, outer planets, and stars, then everything you wrote on social media as a 14-year-old will live on forever. He notes that if we stay on one planet, the sun will eventually engulf Earth, randomizing all computer memory and eternally erasing your teenage opinions on gender from reality. Looking worried, he asks what if some of those things get transmitted out into the cosmos at light speed. Calmly, eyes closed, he concludes we can only hope this is a lifeless universe. Votey: A flying saucer hovers over a rocky mountain ridge. A voice from the saucer says, 'Nevermind. Let us avoid this dipshit planet.' The joke: aliens overhear our embarrassing teenage internet posts beamed into space and decide to steer clear of Earth.
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.